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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH one thing after another

5 replies

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 24/11/2019 13:22

I can't give all details but basically DH lives with me and my DC in my house, it's 2nd marriage for both of us, blended family. We have different parenting styles and no matter how many times I say his way isn't right, it's just different, he doesn't listen and he wants things to be done the way he would like them. Also I was whatsapping him from upstairs about something that had happened that day to do with parenting and trying to put my point across, he ignored the messages. I later found out he had been googling porn. He then apologised for doing this but didn't really address why he was doing that of an early evening instead of answering/acknowledging my messages. I said he must have an addiction if he can't wait until much later to view that on his phone. There is a lot more to this story but I'm wary of saying too much as I'm extremely private. ATM he is out of the house at my request and I just wondered what people with an outside perspective thought.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 24/11/2019 13:49

You're communicating by WhatsApp while physically in the same house?? Surely if you wanted an immediate response, walking downstairs would be more effective?

And time of day is not an indication of porn addiction.

Without more details on the differences in parenting styles then it's hard to say if he's belligerent or controlling. How long where you together before he moved in? How long married? How did these differences not appear before?

MMadness · 24/11/2019 13:52

Why would you message him if he's in the house? How did you know what he was googling?

Parenting differences are not unusual, and he should respect the fact that you raise your children how you see fit,which means you'd have to do the same.

Being a second marriage, you've both come into this relationship with a history. Were these differences evident before getting married? And if so, how were they addressed?

user1483387154 · 24/11/2019 13:55

sorry but why are you sending messages whilst in the same house? this is really weird

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 24/11/2019 13:57

Thanks for your reply. Yes I was in house. I don't know, I was upstairs dealing with DS but also just wanted to put it out there for him to mull over. For example on parenting he says I'm too soft. I am compared to him but I resent him trying to be the stricter one as I haven't asked him to. I just thought with looking at that at that time of early evening was a bit of a red flag, as if he couldn't wait.

OP posts:
yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 24/11/2019 14:00

Dealing with sounds really bad actually. He had something on his mind unrelated to this so I was sat chatting to him for awhile upstairs and I suppose like I said I wanted him to mull it over before I went back downstairs. Ok maybe I'm the weird oneConfused

OP posts:
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