Husband called me a fat slag

[frillyTShirt]

Just when I thought nothing he could say or do could hurt me anymore, he surprises me. He looked at me with such disgust and said 'ew'.

This happened because I told him I can't deal with this life anymore, with feeling so unloved and being shouted at dozens of times a day by him. That I deserve to be happy, and why can't he just be kind to me?

I am an idiot and should never have married him, even on our wedding day I received no love or kindness from him. I can't even remember the last time I felt loved or cherished, or even that he respected and liked me. I think perhaps I am an awful and unlikeable person that no one can tolerate.

I don't know what to do. I said I want to sell the house and leave but he said he won't agree to that because we are locked for another 3 years in a fixed mortgage. Not sure what I can do. I can't bear to live the rest of my life like this

See a bloody solicitor!

And grey rock this dickhead!

U can leave and sell the house at any point he doesn’t get to dictate .
Please get some legal advise u deserve my better

A fixed mortgage simply means you have to pay a fee to exit the agreement. He sounds hideous and you’re right, you deserve to feel loved, everybody does.

Take control. Get a solicitor and get out of this miserable marriage.

Fuck the house and money.
Go before this bellend can do any more damage or you get pregnant.
Seriously.
Life is full of disappointment you don't need to add to it with this.

No chance of getting pregnant because he never touches me. Even if he did I wouldn't want to after how he treats me. So no chance of that happening.

You’re free to do whatever you want. Make the choice to live a happy life away from this horrible man.

Yep see a solicitor. I think you should start there so you know your facts and it might lift you up from the floor where he's put you.

Get your facts, start to make plans to get rid of the bellend. You do deserve to be happy and you won't be while you're with him.

Legal advice is what you need here. One day it will be to late, this will literally have been your life.

You deserve better

He can say what he likes. The law gives no shits.

Not sure what I can do. See a solicitor. Talk only to the solicitor, not stbx. The solicitor will lay out your options nice and clearly. You have many options.

Please make a plan to leave and make this your goal going forwards before this so called man destroys your self esteem completely. Not every man is as cruel and self obsessed as your husband.

As other posters have said, look into housing and see a solicitor, it will be hard but one day you'll look back and be glad you've done it.

I'm disgusted that this pig of a man said this to you, this is beyond bullying. He won't cope well without you and you deserve so much better x

Why did you marry him, was it his idea? I'd leave today, can you stay with anyone?

Even better Frilly make double sure and take the pill.

Just imagine, being your own boss and never having to listen or see his stupid face again? Being in charge of your own life?
Never giving him the chance to drag you down again sounds good eh?

Start now, as a pp said grey rock the twat while you sort your affairs and then toddle away leaving the fucker to fester in his own poison.

There is a happier life you just need to lose the defective husband.

See a solicitor and go and see the mortgage provider.

Why are you with him though OP? The world doesn't revolve around what he says or wants. He isn't going to treat you how you want to be treated so you need to stop wondering why he doesn't and why he can't just change and focus on the fact the marriage is over and the many ways your life will improve if you take action and move on.

See a solicitor for advice about legally separating asap OP, the house can be sold regardless of your fixed rate- you will have to pay a break claus fee (the details will be in your mortgage agreement).I assume you are on the mortgage and the deeds?

He is just fucking scum to treat you like that. Please leave him. Get legal advice - you will be able to get your share of the house. You can have a lovely life, but not with this cunt.

I'd recommend not talking to him about splitting the house/ leaving untill you have seen a solicitor and have a solid plan of action worked out and the wheels in motion.

What an arsehole.Nasty abusive man.
YOU do what YOU want. As other people say , he does not get to decide your future.
No one deserves to put up with this .I hope you have friends and family that will support you.

Firstly: He is bullying you into compliance... you can sell /break the mortgage deal, it will just cost you both more. He is not the boss of you and he doesn't get to decide whether you have options or not. He doesn't have the right to tell you to stay put while treating you with utter contempt.

Secondly: it sounds like you have tried to talk to him on the assumption that he's going to want an amicable, walk away agreement. This doesn't work with abusers. He is not on your side, nor is he interested in treating you with respect. No matter what you had thought this is who he really is.

Have you somewhere you can go? Family, friend, even a hotel or B&B for a few nights?

First job tomorrow is find and call a solicitor. Put yourself in control, don’t let him dictate to you.

He’s a nasty piece of work. Please remember you are worth more than this.

Why are you still there? Why were you begging him to treat you with kindness? Just leave. No amount of money is worth putting up with what you are. Just go.

You have made the first step by realising your marriage was a mistake.

Don't waste any more time. Get out now.

www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

I won’t say my experience and decision are the right way to go, but your post could have been written by me 8 years ago.

Abusive manchild who was all sweetness and light when we met, I managed to fall for his love bombing because I was 18 when we met (he was 25/26) when I suggested we move in together he pushed me into a mortgaged property rather than renting as it’s ‘dead money’.

Then the financial, verbal and emotional abuse began. I was trapped as he refused to leave the property when I finally woke up and realised what he was doing to me (took 4 years of living together to get there but I got there!).

I found out he’d been using my ‘half’ of mortgage payment, ground rent, bills money etc. to cover the cost of everything then pissing away his monthly pay packet on online gambling, getting drunk and generally being a degenerate arse.

I wanted to keep the flat, I had a job within the financial sector so to have any negative credit reported would jeapordise it.

I started squirrelling money away and it took 6 months to save up for a down payment and rent for a single bed flat near my workplace. He got wind of it and emptied my accounts. So I took the hit, I used the one credit card I had, maxed it out to cover the cost of moving and rent, left the flat and eventually it was repossessed and defaulted.

Not the best way to get away but I had to make a choice between my financial future and my safety, I chose my safety.

If I’d been in a position to get legal help I would have, if I hadn’t been systematically cut off from friends or family I would have asked somebody else to help me save the money and keep it out of his reach, I planned badly, but I made it out, you can too.

He’s a disgusting pig of a ‘man’ - he doesn’t deserve you or the space he currently occupies in your head. Stay strong, start putting plans in motion. Keep that fire alive that you do not deserve to be treated this way and that he is not the ruler of your life - you are