I’m just so unhappy at the min. Dp and I are getting on but I just feel there’s no intimacy and it’s like we are friends living together. Due a baby soon and I just want him to leave but I feel awful asking him to go as I don’t have a reason. He’s got kids so he will need time to find a place to stay and get himself in order and just before Christmas it’s kind of a heartless thing to do.
We hardly spend any time together. He’s currently asleep on the sofa now, last night he didn’t come to bed until late and it’s the same thing every night he will get in bed and turn over and go to sleep. I asked him for a cuddle the other night and he made an excuse as to not do this and turned over and went to sleep (played on his phone until he was tired) I feel unloved unwanted and used.
I’m just so sad but I don’t even think I’d be that bothered if he upped and left I think I’d be happy but stressed in a way due to managing a house on maternity pay. We do not have sex, he never kisses or hugs me unless I initiate it. Can’t remember the last time he told me loved me and felt like he meant it. I asked him if he does love me he said yeah course I do but I feel he feels the same as me, cares for me but isn’t romantically in love with me.
Things have been good up until the last few weeks, we were so happy and although not having sex were intimate in other ways like kissing cuddles and talking to each other. These days I can’t even bare to be sat on the sofa with him I just feel like I can’t stand his presence and would rather be busying myself doing other things just so I don’t have to sit with him.
He treats me ok on a day to day basis I am kind of a mug as I do bend over backwards for him but don’t feel like he does the same for me. He’s been snappy with me last few days and creating arguments over petty stuff like him wanting to watch a programme and me asking if he wanted to watch another (purely for the reason that I would have gone upstairs to watch said programme) and it was an argument and he called me a joke. He also had a go at me over a fucking frozen pizza in the freezer he wanted to eat, I said yeah eat it not that he needs my permission to do so, but as he was taking it out I said oh I have changed the weekly meal planner bord and this was taken to mean I had told him he can’t have a pizza. It’s so immature I can’t even fathom how he can get in a boo over this?!
I told him I want an apology and mentioned he has been snippy the last few days and it’s not on so he came upstairs opened the bedroom door said sorry shut it and went back downstairs. No meaning or anything I just think if I was to do that it would be a kick off from him, but he’s maintaining he’s said sorry. But it’s not an apology.
I just want to be treated like a human and like I matter and my feelings matter. I’m just at a loss. I know I need to ask him to leave, the house is mine, not married, but I feel I need him around for the time being with a baby coming soon and Christmas coming up and I know his mum will worry like mad and I feel it’s all on my shoulders to keep it together despite how shit he makes me feel and I feel like he knows this is the case.