Married Bisexual

[ConfusedBiSexual]

I have been with my DH for 14 years and married for 8. There are no children on the scene as DH doesn't want them and I feel a bit broken about that as it's one thing I've always wanted.

Over the last year I have struggled with my mental health and I feel like my DH and I are doing less together and more on our own, and I don't make a big deal out of it, but it is bothering me. I also honestly, hand on heart, could not tell you the last time I had sex, though a lot of that is to do with my own issues with my body image and Anti Depressants killing my sex drive, with an exception.

I have been bisexual since I was 15, something my husband is aware of, and something I have been more sure of as I got older. While I have extremely attracted to various women, I've never actually slept with one, in fact, I've only ever been with one guy, I'll let you figure out who that is. Lately though, I cannot stop thinking about sleeping with other people, particularly women. It's not just sexual, it's emotional and very much leaving out my OH.

I'm not about to run off and have an affair, but I don't know what to do. Do I tell my OH I want to sleep with a woman? Do I leave it as just a hidden fantasy? Am I denying myself that side of myself by not fully exploring my bisexuality? I'm so confused!

Answers on a postcard please...

Hang on, hang on. You're giving up the chance of dc to be with this man? Are you sure you want to do that?

As someone who has similar tendencies my advise would be to explore them as they won’t go away it sounds like the marriage is dead and as another poster said if you want children then maybe time to leave depending on your age of course. Whether you tell him is up to you but sounds like you need to address the issues regardless

This is not about being bisexual. This is about being in a not very good relationship and wanting out. So do that.

This is not about being bisexual. This is about being in a not very good relationship and wanting out. So do that.

I agree with this. Never commit to someone who doesn't want children when you do, you'll end up resenting them in the end.

You are unhappy with this guy and say that you feel broken by not having the chance to have kids. I think you should leave the relationship.

I think the bisexuality is a red herring - if you choose a monogamous, life long relationship, then one part of your nature is always going to go "unexplored". That's part of the deal of monogamy - you don't get to "explore" your attraction to other people.

You could talk to your partner and see how he feels about an open relationship - but if you would like to have sex with other people, you may have to give him the same freedom. Do you think he'd be interested in opening the relationship?

Full disclosure : my partner is bisexual and we are in an open relationship. Him seeing other men is no different to him seeing other women - it doesn't somehow "not count" if its a same sex relationship.

Easier said than done but it's time to leave DH and explore relationships with other people. You only get one life and your DH isn't giving you the emotional intimacy you need and deserve.

Also the kids thing is a big red flag. If you want kids then not having them is a likely to be a big regret for you in later life and cause you to resent DH.

I wouldn't let your wish to have children stop you exploring relationships with other women, lots of same sex couples have children via sperm donation etc.