I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for just over 1 of them and we have a 3 month old baby. Our relationship has always been fiery in that our arguments are full blown and normally go too far meaning that hurtful things are said on both sides.
Shortly after we got married I found out that my husband had started taking cocaine over the last year or so. I told him this was a deal breaker for me and he promised to stop.
In all honesty our relationship was deteriorating rapidly before I found out I was pregnant. We had become different people and had developed different values. Once I found out I was pregnant things got slightly better although we still had some explosive arguments.
Since the baby has come along our arguments seem to have got even worse with them often resulting in one of us declaring we want to leave. We never do, things slot back to normal the next day and we go on as usual until the next big argument.
Things have reached a head tonight. My husband came back from the pub in a mood as a family member had upset him. He ends up taking it all out on me, I get upset, this annoys him and triggers the usual hurtful words. He tells me to fuck off, when I say I’m leaving he says ‘good’ etc. In addition I found an empty cocaine packet in his wallet after he’d been out for the night the other day. He told me it belonged to someone else.
I just don’t know what to do. I grew up in a single parent family and didn’t want the same for my kids, but I can’t keep being told to fuck off, how unhappy I make him etc. And I can’t be in a relationship with someone who takes drugs.
I just dont know what to do for the best 😢. I have heard that couples argue more when they have a new baby but these arguments are really nasty.