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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

seducing a workaholic

36 replies

TurnAgainCat · 27/09/2004 13:28

What shall I do, girls? I was interested in someone whom I came across professionally, so I found out his email address and invited him to a big party I was having. Got a very polite and friendly refusal (going away that weekend) hoping we would meet soon. So, then I invited him to two more things, and he accepted both but then cancelled in the last minute because of work. Then I gave up, but went and did one of the activities we had planned to do by myself, and then sent him a sort of ner-ner-ner-ner email about how I had made time to do that activity in spite of work, and I would highly recommend it to him (but not inviting him). Then he emailed me within 5 mins to say he wanted to go, and please suggest another date. I was then too busy at work, so suggested he join some friends and me for an evening out planned in a few weeks' time. Then, he emailed me on a Sunday from work a few days before the event, and said he was terribly sorry but he could no longer make it because he suddenly had to go away with work, and told me where he was going, and apologised for being rude but said it was impossible to have a good social life with this job. By then, I was fed up, so I never replied. Then several weeks later, he sends me an email late in the evening (ie this is someone who is regularly at work late in the evenings and at weekends) saying guess what ("!!") that it turned out we were going to meet professionally the next day and he was looking forward to seeing me. Since then, we have been working on opposite sides of a piece of work, and we have both been very aggressive, although polite, and not spoken informally at all. Must confess that I was quite caught up in this very competitive mood, and there was something sexy about this conflict at work between a male and female. I also had the chance to see how he works, and he does everything in a laborious painstaking way, compared to me, who am very fast and efficient, because I have to run home, collect ds, cook dinner, and run my house every day. I read something in "Metro" last week that professionals earning over £50k are twice as likely to be single, take an average of 12 days to arrange a date, and are more fussy, and are statistically likely to stay single because they are working so hard. I am starting to think that he may really be disorganised and a workaholic, rather than just boring and useless and undersexed, and I really want to seduce him. I got an email circular today from one of the events that we were both supposedly interested in going to - shall I forward it to him and see if he wants to go and make it clear that this meeting is outside the professional work? Or is that demeaning?

OP posts:
motherinferior · 07/10/2004 14:07

Can't be doing your self-esteem any good either, or perhaps that's just me - I start wondering if there is something eminently unshaggable about me in these circs (yes, I've been there. In fact you can safely assume that unless I expressly inform you to the contrary, I have made every mistake in the book).

TurnAgainCat · 07/10/2004 14:27

Well, bearing in mind that this is the internet, how much should I say? He is the old friend of the partner of the friend of my friend, all of whom were out with us, and from the content of the conversation, he is definitely single. Bearing in mind that we were all drinking and dancing, and that he went out of the way to walk me home at 1 am, which took 90 minutes although it really takes 10 minutes, but my Mum was babysitting and always waits up, he definitely fancies me. Perhaps he thinks it will be too frustrating because I am single parent? Perhaps he can tell that I can't see any future in it?

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motherinferior · 07/10/2004 14:32

Men, I am afraid, are very odd. Or at least pretty well all the ones I have ever tangled with are.

Mind you, that may be more about me than anything else

MeanBean · 07/10/2004 14:45

No, MI. They're odd!

MeanBean · 07/10/2004 14:45

Unless we've tangled with the same ones!

TurnAgainCat · 07/10/2004 14:46

Well, he just rang me right now. He says he has got a cold and been in bed all day. He was expecting that I would have already called my babysitter about tomorrow evening, and wants me to call him tomorrow after I have spoken to her, and if she is not available then said he would come and meet me for a quick drink before I collect ds.

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WideWebWitch · 07/10/2004 20:11

Ha ha Meanbean re In My Day. TAC, hmm, let us know. Tbh, I think the ones worth bothering with are the ones that make some effort ffs!

Tissy · 07/10/2004 20:16

"in bed all day" with a "cold" ???? Pathetic!

TurnAgainCat · 08/10/2004 09:47

www, why do you think that I haven't been "bothering" with anyone for so long!? None of them make effort! If you are sad enough to go to that section of the bookshop, there are all kinds of books about this phenomenon in the modern urban environment, and the choice is either to be celibate forever or do this type of hard work, I think .

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WideWebWitch · 08/10/2004 10:17

Sorry those are such shite choices TAC...

TurnAgainCat · 08/10/2004 11:00

Well, in all gory detail. I rang him to say no babysitter, but we could have a quick drink at 5 pm. He says he has a work meeting at 3 pm and is not sure. I say, if it's not convenient we could leave it to another time. He says no. He says he wants to get out of his meeting by 4 pm and will ring me then to confirm. I hope that when he grows up ds will get married and have his children when he is young before he gets captured by the rat race.

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