Adult children / new baby

[Moomin8]

I'm due to give birth to a baby girl next month. My partners son has said he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. Apparently he still hasn't got over his parents break up which happened 4 years ago. His mum has moved her new partner into the house He's 22 and has been angry about it from the beginning. He won't even spend any time with me.

Anyone have any experience of this sort of thing? My children are fine with it all, in fact they can't wait to meet their new sister. They are 18, 15 and 10.

It’s easier to deny a baby that’s not been born yet. I’d hope he changed his mind once the baby was born.

Is his relationship with his dad good otherwise?

I would tread softly, and refer to the baby by her name when speaking to him and wait.

I think their relationship is ok but sometimes they fall out on a small scale. I don't think my partner handles things very well with his children.

Yes I would hope he changes his mind.

It’s tricky. Concentrate on you, your children and the new baby. Hard for you to change his mind, just be willing when he shows an interest.

I’m presuming your kids live with you so they see the new baby as an addition to the family. Your DSS, on the other hand, presumably doesn’t live with you so probably feels like his dad has walked out on him then replaced him. How much do you see DSS? Can you involve him in your family more?

Having said that, DSS is 22 - not a child. I’m shocked at his behaviour, he’s supposed to be an adult.

Just get on with your life as best you can. He may feel his dad is too old to be having another child. 22 years is a very big gap.

Your baby's life will not be affected by his lack of interest.

Leave him to it but offer the contact and cuddles from his new sister.

It’s up to him if he wants to accept her or not but either way it sounds like she won’t be short siblings and maybe him seeing your children with her might kick start some empathy

Another point is that siblings from the same mother are usually closer, than those from the same father.

He's not going to be excited about this. I know my BIL was embarrassed that his dad was had a child the same year he did.

It was his dad's second marriage.