I’ve lost everything

[Mickeylove84]

My husband’s walked out of my life and it’s destroyed me.
I feel like an amputee,
He’s moved on to someone else and has rented a house down the road and got a lodger. I moved to this city to be with him and I am an hour away from my close friends and family.
I’ve been fighting depression since my sister passed away last year from breast cancer and I know the grief changed me.
He originally moved out to give us space and he was adamant he still loved me.
He was always inviting me round, telling me how much he’s missed me and wants us to work it out
Move forward a month and he’s been seeing someone else.
All the time whilst messaging me, calling me when he’s had a drink and trying to come round.
Why is he doing this?
I want to take screenshots of our conversations to show to his new piece to wreck his relationship, but I know it’s me that looks crazy.
He’s walked out and taken my chance of becoming a mother with him
I’m so lost

Oops
Wrong thread

Well he's bribing me to sign, he's in a better financial situation as he took power of attorney over his dad who has Parkinsons/dementia finances (didn't bother to sort any power over health decisions though!). Left him in a nursing home. He was goading me to leave as he said you have nothing here, so I dug my heals in stupidly. I should never have moved, but he referred to my home city as a shithole. Out of shit, roses grow. So fuck him. I hope no woman allows him to breed

Sounds like he has done you a favour really. Gives you the chance to find someone who is worthy of you, and not waste any more years on that tosser.
I'd still refuse to sign, I'd just block his number so he can't contact you.
Do you own your home or rent? Owning obviously complicates the situation

I rent which is best. He and his brother own a flat jointly which his mother rents. No buy-to-let mortgage on it though. We would have struggled to get a mortgage until he moved it. That's another bone of contention. I'm not entitled to part of that flat apparently as it was purchased before the marriage as he informed me. I didn't even ask.

We'll see what the solicitor has to say about that now and the taxman 😂

He sounds like an absolute turd. You will have a happier more relaxed life in the future. Keep your dignity, vent on here in private, and attend to your own emotional needs - bereavement counselling etc as above. You sound strong, not broken, perhaps bruised!

Take back control, it sounds like he has thrown it all away as wants to keep the inheritance for himself, especially if it's going to be a large amount. Most people left in that situation would think that Dad had set us both up, not I don't want her to have any of it. One day y find that man.

Meanwhile refuse the divorce, it's not like he is desperate to marry this new one, his actions say he wants you out of his finances. Take your share of the money and give it to cancer it domestic abuse charities.

I really like his dad, and I hate that it's become a factor. I don't care about his money, I'm just disgusted he's so calculated. All he and his siblings discuss is his dads will even in front of him! That should have been a red flag 🚩
I would never dream of treating my father like that.

I'm so very sorry OP, it hurts ewally bad I know

When the dust and you have settled you will realise he wasn't "the one", what kind of decent man does this, cheats on you then cheats or tries to on the new woman. This is NOT the kind of partner you need long term.

When my husband of 20 years just left with no word while I was in hospital I felt like jumping off the nearby cliffs everyday but as time went on I realised he had been the most awful person for the last 20 years and do I really want to be with someone who dumps me just because I'm ill? i don't think so.

Three years later and I can see clearly, and so woll you.

In the meantime massive big hugs and handholds.

I'm so sorry to hear what happened and glad you got your life back. What an awful man. He did you a favour though

I'm not entitled to part of that flat apparently as it was purchased before the marriage as he informed me
Sounds like he doesnt understand what marriage means and is in for a shock. What a knob. When you feel ready, enjoy getting him to understand what's he has list by treating you like shit. For example, half his inheritance and half his flat. Tossed.

You don't have to see him again. Just do everything through your solicitor.

Raise the divorce papers yourself and state adultery in his part.

Get some good legal advise about what you
Are entitled to and put him on your dead to me list.

Life is too short.

I met my husband when I was 36.

You still have time to have children.

Fuck him off now and don't waste anymore time on him he doesn't deserve it.

fuck him. I hope no woman allows him to breed

🤣🤣🤣

Love your spirit OP. It's clear from that one comment that you will survive and thrive.

Make him pay you out a settlement - he knowingly wasted good reproductive years then trashed you. Make him pay for that.

Egg freezing is still considered very effective in the late 30s. Reproductive stats are outdated and many women experience menopause in the late 40s to early 50s. It's not all bad news and you do have time to meet a nice man.

Get yourself out there - on OLD and don't waste time on hopeless prospects. Egg freezing may afford you that extra time to be a little more choosy.

Listen to Beck's True Love Will Find You In The End - it's absolutely spot on. This guy wasnt your true love or your end.

🎵🎵🎵
True love will find you in the end
You'll find out just who was your friend
Don't be sad, I know you will
But don't give up until
True love will find you in the end

This is a promise with a catch
Only if you're looking will it find you
'Cause true love is searching too
But how can it recognize you?
Unless you step out into the light

Don't be sad, I know you will
Don't give up until
True love finds you in the end

If I can't conceive a child of my own, I will foster as I always had planned to do when I was was, Uh more mature! It'll be ok, my egos taken a kicking as I thought he had a little more integrity. Sadly mistaken. On with his silver medal 🥈