What kind of friendships do you have?

[claret3189]

So i have noticed friends come and go. What kind of friendships do you have? Do you meet regular or every so often? Are some long distance friendships? I am having a few issues currently and wanted to see other peoples experiences

I'd say I have 2 very close friends. Used to work all together. Been friends for 20 years.
I see them separately and we all get together when we can.
I see them separately probably once every 6 weeks maybe more.
When we can all see each other it's probably only about 3-4 times a year.
I have another friend from school (so known her 40 years) who I see 3-4 times a year.
Another friend from many years ago who I used to work with and we probably see each other twice a year.
I'm part of a group for my hobby and we get together and do things probably once every 6-8 weeks but we see each other twice a week anyway.
I also get together with my sisters every now and then (separately) and have some sisterly bonding time.
I have cousins and we get together about once every 3 months.
I see my mum and dad at least once a week (for various reasons).
Yes, my life is far too hectic but I like to keep busy.
All this to fit in is another reason why I am happy single. I couldn't begin to see where a man could fit into my life right now.
But it would be nice to have a weekend all to myself.
I try to schedule that in too but it usually gets wiped out by something.

I used to have a group of female friends, known for years, including a life-long friend but they all fell out with me (For not being about to afford an expensive trip together when i was unable to afford my rent...)

So now just a couple of work-gained friends i see every other week or so seperately and another friend who lives a couple of hours away, but im bridesmaid for her next year.

Have sister im very close to aswell and see every 3 or 4 weeks (I moved an hour or so away from everyone years ago for work), and the same but lesser extent my brother.

The older i get, the less i can be bothered with the faff. DP has lots of "mates" and 2 proper close friends.

I think I'm slightly unusual, but I have dozens of friends. Probably ten or so that are especially close, about thirty I know well and catch up with as and when, and then a wider circle of about seventy who are people I count as friends but don't make any special effort to keep up with.

I'm part of a particular scene so I know almost everyone from that. We tend to all go to the same festivals and nights out in the UK. I get chatting to other people because I know X person. I'm also happy to talk to strangers, so I'm happy to go to events alone and make friends when I'm there.

I have no idea why I'm so popular. I was extremely unpopular in school. It just happened that way!

I've had a few sets

I've had a few diffent sets of Freinds group usually 5-7memebers one in elementary school that got broken up cuz we went to different highschools and then high school one due to a lot of broken trust and fake friendships (I ended up changeing schools half way into high school to a different city, parents got better job and moved us to the boonies) but ya so the second half of high school I met a group and still Freinds and have a group chat to this day where we see each other at major events and once in a while at birthdays we are all in our thirty's now. And I have a few university Freinds and coworkers who I've known now over 10 years and we get together on major events baby shower birthdays weddings etc and random sushi night midway through the year,

I use to get disappointed a lot by Freinds because I'd put everything into relationships and they wouldn't be a great Freind in return. So now I just do my best and being a great Freind and I respect my limits (I'm not breaking my bank to help you with rent then not able to pay mine the next month type thing, if I can help emotionally physically financially I will but not at my own expense)

Some advice you can really only have 2-5 best Freinds that you tell everything to do make sure you don't tell them all the same thing and maybe one month you make a date with one Freind and alternate people so you have a a year filled with meeting rather than packing everyone in in the summer and holidays

i have a couple of friends at work we all get on great but do not solialise outside of work and i and my OH have lots of biker friends who we do socialise with but no long terme really good friends as i moved areas when i was a teenager so the childhood friendships went and as an adult have not formed any really close friendships

My dearest friends are my parents and sister, who I see regularly.

I have two close friends who are long-distance. We chat on a group every day but don’t see each other too regularly due to various issues (children, work, health etc).

I don’t do casual friends

My circle is small but I like it that way.

Friend one - my best friend. We've known each other since we were 7. We've fallen out a few times and lost contact for about a year once after she moved away (pre Facebook). I only see her approx once a month because we are both really busy but I speak to her a few times a week. We would both be there immediately if the other needed us.

Friend 2 - Friends since secondary school. Not much in common anymore but I still love her. Speak to her on the phone about once a week but haven't seen her for about 6 months because she is v busy setting up her new business.

Friend 3 - new friend who I am enjoying getting to know. Met at the school gates and we do the school run together. Meet up during the day once a week. We text all the time.

I consider my brother a good friend too. I see him nearly every day

I see l different combinations of friends every Monday and every Friday, plus meeting up with others once or sometimes twice a week. I spent a long time as a sahm and used to regularly meet up with lots of different people which helped turn acquaintances into friends. I am aware I am very lucky to have found such a brilliant bunch of inclusive, fun, supportive and interesting people.

3 close friends I have known for decades, Godmothers to each other’s children- may not see them more than once a year but it’s like picking up conversation that we had yesterday. Would do anything for each other in a heartbeat.

A couple of Mum friends I made when the children were small - see them socially quite often, partly because husbands get on well . I am very close to one - frequent messaging because have same sense of humour.

Some art interest friends, with whom I travel and go to exhibitions.

A group of sports friends who I see frequently and socialise with as well - but not with partners.

Some other friends from various points in my life and a lot of acquaintances.

This is really interesting.

I think I have

Two uni friends who I am very close with still after 20+ years I see every few weeks. One to one and in a group.

Ex colleagues who I became close to I see 3 or 4 times a year.

Friends from a past hobby I see for a weekend twice a year.

And then two friends from when I was in nursery I see once or twice a year.

I definitely have felt friends come and go. Some friends I can pick up with so easily after ages apart. Others have drifted apart from me/ vice versa but reappeared years later prompted by a significant event or relocation etc. Others, especially lots of colleagues I was close to whilst working together, but have since changed jobs, have lost touch with over the years.

Have you ever met up with someone who was a good friend in the past but you suddenly realise you would not be drawn to now if you just met? I had that happen a few months ago and we both must have felt it and have let it drift!

Nobody from school or work.

I've got two friends from childhood who I go out for a meal with maybe every 6 months or so, and a friend from an old hobby I e-mail about once every 12 months who lives in a different country.

I consider myself as having (almost) no friends, in that if I lived alone and passed away, it could be months and months before any 'friends' noticed or enquired.

I have:

Various groups of friends centred around hobbies or interests, say three main separate groups of friends. Mum friends, local hobby and far flung meeting less often hobby/social group.
Of those, one or two people from each group are closer friends and people who I would either text weekly and catch up with in person 3 or so times a year if they are the far flung ones, or not text much but catch up with every other week or so for the local friends.

At the start of the year my best friend of 8 years ghosted me and I still have no idea why. It still hurts and is something I'm dealing with. I've definitely used it as a springboard to make new friendships and deepen existing ones, but there is still a terrible gaping chasm in my life where my friend once was. We shared the same sense of humour, taste in films and interests as well as 8 years of history and not having to explain stuff because he already knew. Not to mention that I bloody loved him. I'm not sure I'll have a friendship like that again - but maybe in a decade I'll realise that some of the friendships I'm building now have taken on that importance. Hopefully by that time I'll also have found some peace and closure as well.

Its good to see everyone has different groups of friends.

I have different friends for different interests. Its hard i think as friends do come and go. Its not so easy to build a new friendship tho

I'm quite lucky I have many friends, but on different levels. I have friends that I know right from primary school. They are the ones that have been closest and I've shared many life experiences with them, and they with me. I then have the ones from college and uni, these again are brilliant for being around and dependable. Luckily they all get on with my primary friends. The other set are work colleagues who are friends and work fantastically as a team, we get on great. I consider myself very fortunate that I'm blessed with such a fantastic friendship circle.

@Groundfloor

I had that realisation recently. I had a nervous breakdown, followed by a major depressive episode. No one notice that I went MIA for a few months, that I wasn't using SM, etc. I'm a contract worker, so I wouldn't have expected people from work to notice, though I counted some of those people as friends, as I've been working for some companies for years. But for three months, not a single person checked in on me. It was me, when I was back on my feet, that made contact with people again. I suspect, I will in fact be one of those sad news articles that they found my half cat eaten body, months after something happens.

friends come and go. I generally find that when you have friends who live abroad they generally do not last because you are in different countries in different time zones and have different lives. Friends only work with people you meet up with and you have to have something in common for the friendship to work. People who say they have lots of friends were making it up to seem important. In reality most of the people there know are only acquaintances and maybe three or four are actual friends. I only have about three close friends and I feel that is enough because what these three friends contribute to my life is far better than 10 or more people who at the end of the day do not really care much about me and would not come to my aid in times of trouble. I can never understand why some people have 200 or more people on their facebook. I think people add people just for the sake of it and to look important. I only have 10 on mine because I only want genuine caring people. I had someone on my facebook who I sent a happy new year message to. They read the message but did not acknowledge it or send one back so I deleted them. Sorry if that seems harsh but if someone cannot put themselves out for you then whats the point of them being on your fb

I have five friends from school. We’re scattered all over the UK but we all meet up a few times a year and sometimes one of us will go and visit another one if we’re at home or in the area. For example, if I’m at a conference in Edinburgh I’d go and stay with my friend rather than a hotel. So we don’t see each other a lot, but we do have a WhatsApp group where we have a chat most days. I’ve got friends from work, and I enjoy their company but I have zero interest in socialising with them, and I have a group of local friends from when our kids were at nursery together. I also have a bunch of friends from when I was in my 20s who I don’t see much any more, but I love them dearly and we keep in touch via FB and the occasional visit.

I have a couple of old friends from uni who I think of as good friends but rarely see due to distance. It’s lovely when we do manage to get together though.

Not in touch with any school friends.

One good friend I met through work years ago - she lives an hour away and we meet up with our families three or four times a year.

A group of local ‘mum friends’ - we see each other a lot and WhatsApp frequently too.

DH has a close group of uni friends and we meet them regularly - their wives / husbands are lovely too.

I have a friend since i was 8 im now 40
Did have a bestfriend we have now driffted apart
Have school friends
Now i have mum friends that my children go to school with
See all them at different times but the school mums we try to all get together.
My DH is my bestfriend now.

None

Probably 11 that I would consider close friends, 4 of which I’m in a group of friends with.

That group I have known for 10 years and the rest have been within the last 7, with the exception of one from college.

DH and I lived abroad for a long time and moved around a lot in ten years, so a lot of our previous friends didn’t appreciate how much effort goes into maintaining a long distance friendship.

Those I am friends with now all live very far away, the closest is a two hour drive, furthest away a 14 hour flight!

Best friend - probably the most recent of the lot but still been friends 18 years or so. We see each other once a week at least, and either chat on the phone or text through the week too. Used to go away together every year for 2 weeks, different now as I’m married and she has DP but we do go for weekends/ long weekends when we can.
I’m also friends with her sister, know her parents well, we go to each other’s family events etc.

Other best friend I met at uni. Lived together at uni, travelled together etc. We both moved about a bit and have ended up at opposite ends of the country but meet up a couple of times a year at least and keep in touch via WhatsApp in between. We arrange a day out somewhere in the middle of the two of us every 3-4 months and now her little girl is getting older we can do the odd overnight stay too.

2 friends I was at school with. We were out every weekend in our late teens/early twenties, girl’s holidays in Magaluf, all that kind of thing. They had children quite young and I didn’t, and over time we have got to the point where we see less of each other, but still get together for birthdays/ special occasions and then a couple of meals out or nights round one of our houses with wine a year. The kind of friends though where we could go ages and ages without speaking/ seeing each other then get together and absolutely nothing has changed and we still make each other cry with laughter.

Another friend I met in my first job post uni. We were extremely close for a long time, lived and worked together and were out all the time too. After I moved back up north and she moved further south we’d still visit/ stay with each other fairly often, then she got married and had DC and so there were less nights out/ weekends away but we still get together about twice a year.

I consider both my sisters to be close friends too and they are both older than me with adult children - my eldest nephew is 4 years younger than me for example - and I am friends with them and their partners in the sense of socialising together, helping each other out etc.

I’ve had lots of ‘situational’ friends that I’ve met when working or living in a particular place for example and for on really well with, still keep in touch via Facebook or the odd message, will see occasionally and always happy to see them but neither side make any particular effort if you know what I mean?

I was recently talking to my teens about this. My daughter is going through a 'friendship group' crisis as some drift off without seeming to care.
I have situational friends - those that are in the same phase or activity as me but would not last beyond that shared experience (some of the mums from school, or as the example I used for my son: his rugby mates). About 6 of these and they fluctuate year to year.
I then have friends that are in our 'gang' who I see when out as a group but would not necessarily see on my own. This can change as some have gone from group friend to closer friend. About 4-6 of these and may overlap with above group.
My close friends for right now: women who I meet up individually with, who I may discuss personal issues with, but may not survive any distance or long gaps between seeing them. Say about three of these.
Core group: these are women I've either known forever or long enough and through thick and thin. I may see them once or twice a year, or on occasion once every several years, but the conversation picks up as if we has just spoken the day before. I have about five of these friends.
Bestie: this has changed over the years and I haven't always had one. A great regret is losing touch with one - our friendship survived her moving away, getting married and having kids but not me doing so a few years later. But she has recently been in touch. My current best friend I met 7 years ago and we just clicked. I'm 57 and it just shows you can make new friends at any age. We don't share alot of interests but we have one kid the same age which is how we met even though the kids are no longer friends (she has another way older and I have another younger). We don't have the same educational background. She was always a SAHM from her 20s whereas I had a career and didn't marry till 40. But that doesn't seem to matter. We just get on!

Can you realistically bond with people you know who live abroad that you hardly know. I think in order to bond well you need to be able to see the people and talk to them and not on social media or text. Such people will only ever be acquaintances not friends. I have tried with such people and it never works because they have their own life in their own country with their own family or friends who live around them. It would be a different matter if they lived in your country or you lived in theirs