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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Had to take control

14 replies

Cccsss011 · 22/11/2019 03:12

I've posted previously about a partner not been able to hold down full time jobs in the past he finally manages to hold one down for five years but messes up and gets moved to another site works doing rubbish for council he basically has bad attitude and falls out with people easily he takes time off sick alot that kinda thing works getting strict with him saying he has to get on with it hes on final warnings etc!I am doing same we have no kids but we cannot survive of my min wage job.....like to add I work all hours nights in care to pay my way in life and it's a bloody hard job been st this place 6 months never had aa day off and my work ethos is crack on do your best so I finally have it out with him tell him he sorts himself out sticks to job else I'm gone back to my mums he also spends money like water we on very modest income ge has around two hundred pounds left at end of month...as do I but I'm expected to buy all xmas...car repairs meals out etc his goes on beer and crap so I finally told him tonight he hands over his wages and I count the finances totally he do childlike no sense of responsibility my question am I been mean should I just leave him???or me taking control could mean I now can manage what bit of money we do gave wisely what to do thanks for reading

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/11/2019 03:15

Run for your life.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 22/11/2019 03:34

Just dump him, he sounds completely fucking useless. You can do better.

Needsomebottle · 22/11/2019 06:16

I cant imagine wanting to be with someone like that. I appreciate you haven't really said much about you as a couple and how he is with you, but he sounds like he is rather unpleasant and difficult, lazy, has a bad work attitude, falls out with people easily and has a chip on his shoulder. You, on the other hand sound a grafter, with a cracking work attitude, kind and caring, organised and like you could achieve great things with your personal life as you sound focused.

Admittedly I'm getting all this from the small amount of information above but if I'm anywhere near right how on earth are you two compatible and what in heavens do you see in him?

This could be your life forever. You know that right?

pog100 · 22/11/2019 08:06

Just leave, don't tie your life to him. That's all really.

Bananalanacake · 22/11/2019 09:02

you don't have kids together so no point in living with him. you could live separately and still see him and he can pay his own bills while you keep your money to yourself.

Cccsss011 · 22/11/2019 13:59

Needssomebottle you are right I know he cannot take responsibility mums always done things for him hes 45 I just feel really mean I can go to my mums his mum will help him I think but I dont think he would manage hes really that useless his mum goes away shes back end March....lives abroad half year I'm thi king when shes back is a good time to leave

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 22/11/2019 14:16

Now is a good time to leave.

AnyFucker · 22/11/2019 14:19

How old is he ? 9 ?

Clutterbugsmum · 22/11/2019 14:22

I know he cannot take responsibility mums always done things for him hes 45.

If he got to 45 behaving like this he never going to change.

hellsbellsmelons · 22/11/2019 14:37

Wow - I'm thinking right NOW is a good time to leave.
Can you imagine having kids with this guy?
You are on mat leave, he loses his job. Then what???
Run now OP.
Don't wait. Just do it!

imalmosthome · 22/11/2019 14:41

Start putting yourself first, because he isn't ever going to change.
Try & get some of the money back (or goods to the value of) that you have spent on him if you can.
Leave now - and have a very social, happy and merry xmas!

Shoxfordian · 22/11/2019 14:45

Stay with your Mum, dump the loser
He's not going to change

Needsomebottle · 22/11/2019 15:55

He's 45. He managed his whole life before you can along. You aren't his mother and don't need to make sure hes ok. He will be just fine. You, however, by March, will be soul destroyed. Please take care of yourself first. Why should he come above you?

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 23/11/2019 00:28

Don't waste any more of your one precious life on this loser.

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