Hi
I'm not even sure where to start to be honest. DH and I have been married for almost 15 years and have one preteen dc with another on the way. When dc was a baby, DH was really unhelpful - I did all the night feeds (even when he was on leave, weekends etc), all the nursery runs when I went back to work, all the housework and to be honest and it did stir up a bit of resentment. When dc was about 3 I discovered DH had something going on with a work colleague - we stayed together partly because I recognised I had played a part in pushing him away and because I didn't want my child to be without his dad, however it was made completely clear it was the first and last time I'd accept it. He has never ever admitted it but the text messages I found were clear as day about whah was going on. She also had a baby when my child was a year old (another slap in the face because I was so nice to her, treated her like a friend and she betrayed me) - definitely not Dh's as nothing had gone on at that point but it nagged at me that he would always make time to drive her Home from work etc when she was pregnant because "poor thing was so tired" yet he'd never been considerate to me like that.
Anyway, over the years he has gotten better with helping with dc - takes him to sports etc but in terms of us things seem to be really up at down. We've slept in separate rooms for nearly 3 years because he snores like crazy and no matter how much I plead with him to go and see about it, he won't do it.
Since I found out I was pregnant again, it's like all the old stuff is rearing it's head again. He's super inconsiderate - would never think of saying "have you eaten?" Or just checking on me when I'm feeling like crap. Quite happy for me to lug bags of rubbish to the tip without offering to do it. I don't expect to be wrapped in cotton woo but surely a bit of consideration? I make sure I have dinner ready every night when he comes in from work (even though I also work FT) yet today, I was the one late back and I'd said to him on the phone I was feeling rubbish (had a scare last week where I was taken into hospital with low blood pressure) but I still had to come home and make dinner for him and dc and to add insult to injury, do all the washing up once he abandoned his dishes in the sink. He then spends the evening lying on his iPad with earphones in like every other night. I get no physical affection, conversation when he feels like it and I'm starting to feel like I can't stand him and really wondering why I've tied myself down to another 18 years of misery! Am I being unreasonable or asking too much?