Can I get peoples honest advice please. Myself and my sister fell out a few years ago. She seems to be struggling and I want to get peoples advice am I responsible.
About 6 and half years ago, two of my brothers were working abroad in Australia. They were about a year gone at that time. My sister wasn't happy with one of our brothers because he wasn't contacting home much. She read too much into it and thought he was cutting contact with the family and she sent him a bad message which angered him. To be honest, she had plenty of time to get used to her own thoughts but receiving a bad message with accusations of cutting contact was just sprung on him. On one hand I was able to see it from her side that perhaps it was a possibility he was feeling that way but I was also able to see it from a different angle. He could have been busy with work or maybe he had money problems but he was too proud to say. My sister became agitated with me saying why am I making excuses for him. I wasn't making excuses for him. At one stage when me and my sister were on good terms she said we should stick together here because they are over there making their own lives there. That kinda annoyed me somewhat. I couldn't see why I couldn't have a relationship with them from across the miles.
A few months after that falling out from her and him, he rang our mother with news that he was due to become a dad. Me and our mother became excited. My sister threw a tantrum that day telling us - when are you two going to realise he wants nothing to do with us. I wanted to wish him and his partner well that day and my sister wasn't happy about that. I did wish him well and he received it well.
I thought maybe over time, my sister might come around. The baby was born and my sister wanted nothing to do with our niece. I thought at that stage, the issue that she had and the falling out that she had with our brother was petty and it should ha e been parked and left behind in the past. I didn't say it to her at this time.
It was about three months or so after that, at Christmas time. We both had two very different schedules. I was working hard with barely a day off in a month. She was unemployed. I came home late at night one night after work. It was about 9. My sister wasn't long up at that stage. She was so full of answers that night and no action and I snapped and I gave out to her.
The next day I was in work and I got some abusive messages from her.
That was it really. I wanted to apologise to her and I tried but it was like she had a brick wall built up around herself. When I tried talking to her she stuck her nose up in the air.
All that lead to a few months where I kept to myself. I was busy with work and just getting on with things. I had money stolen from my wallet and other belongings go missing too. I had to stop and anker myself because I was cross with my sister and fuming but I had to hold back because it would get me nowhere. She would deny taking things from me and just play a victim.
Eventually she moved out from the family home. I began to get bad messages from her. That has gone on and off for the past four and half years. Different number changes etc down the line.
Eventually she fell out with our mother over a different matter.
Another brother has no time in the world whatsoever for her.
Its been years of abuse and vulgar from her where she is not stopping. Bad messages, and calls and vile accusations of incest and peado between us all.
Last year, she was texting me and it seemed as if she was struggling and she demanded for explanations about our falling out and why I was so cross with her.
Oh my god, the woman is passive aggressive and impossible to deal with. Relationships are a two way thing but it's all one sided from her.
I thought I was doing the decent thing replying back to her in the hope of patching things up. I wrote I was wrong and I'm sorry. I shouldn't ever have given out to her. I was tired after work that day and I'm sorry. Or something on them lines. She never took any of that on board. None of it.
One one hand she hates me and on the other hand she wants me to kneel at her feet.
She was contacting my employer and partner last winter and so I decided to get a throw away phone and sim card. I saw she had a need to dish out filth and to some degree that actually helped things. She was texting into a phone that is turned off more often than not.
To this day, 5 years after our falling out, life has moved on for us all except for her. She's stuck on that old rows and other old rows going back 15/20 years never mind about her own part that she played in them. She's like a disgruntled ex.
The woman hates me and the ground I'm walking on but she won't leave me alone. She keeps away physically but she blew up my throwaway phone again last night and it's all vulgar, crazy from her talking about our brothers cocks. I actually got sick.
Am I responsible for this falling out?