Pros and cons of having a joint bank account?

[Lsquiggles]

My partner and I have been together almost 4 years, have a mortgage together and a 5 month old daughter. I've been thinking that it's time we get a joint bank account for simplicity, my partner doesn't seem that interested and thinks it's an unnecessary move (probably out of laziness honestly).

Each month I transfer my half of the mortgage and bills to him and any time we do food shopping we take it in turns but I'm sick of the "I paid for x and y so you should pay for this" everytime we go shopping or do anything.

Neither of us spend frivolously and have no large outgoings that we don't approve of, so am I mad for thinking it makes sense to just have one account where everything comes out of each month?

When did you and your partner get a joint account?

We started a joint account when we moved in together for all the rent, food, electric etc. We still have separate accounts as well, just transfer the same amount to the joint each month. It makes sense to have one really

I doubt it's down to laziness that you don't have a joint account after 4years.
He wants financial control and is not prepared share all his income with you. The tit for tat paying for stuff back and forth gives you a pretty good indication as to what he really thinks...actions speak louder than words.
I have been in a similar situation and at no time would the exh agree to a joint account...agreed then ignored. Excuses, then more excuses.
My friend is getting married next year and her and her fiancé have already been to the bank to open a joint account as they have just started living together.

There was absolutely no hesitation on his part and he is the higher earner. They are both careful with money and not extravagant in their spending.

We got joint accounts only after getting married.

Pros are it's simples the cons are I can't hide any purchases from dh!

We have an account that all the bills come out of and we each pay a set amount in on payday which covers them. It’s not joint though as my DH was bankrupt so we can’t have a joint account. But essentially it is a joint account as we can both access the app, its just in my name only as a technicality.
If he won’t do a joint one then just work out your total bills each month and he pays the right amount for his share into it.

We opened a joint account just before our wedding. We didn't love together until we got married so had no need before then. It just made sense to have everything going in and out of one account. We do have small pocket money Monzo cards that we transfer a certain amount to to spend however we wish but we both use the joint account without much discussion

We have both.

A joint one which we both pay into for motgage/bills/shit for the house.

And we have our own accounts.

Works well. I like it this way.

We have a joint account purely for household bills, utilities, food etc. Neither of us has our salary paid into it directly. I would never be in the situation where I only had access to a single joint account and no other money. My friend does have that system and it does seem to create some arguments as her DH is fully sited on her expenditure. ( and disapproves of her spending)

I was added to my then partner (now husbands) account the day after he moved in . My DH is extremely laid back when it comes to money and I do all the budgeting and saving suits us very well.

I can't understand why anyone living together and having a child together wouldn't have a joint account! It makes paying for anything for the house and for the baby utterly straightforward. We've had one since we first moved in together, pre-kids and pre-marriage.

We paid in equal amounts at first, but then I stopped work for a while to have 3DCs, so he was the only one paying in. It meant I never needed to "ask" for cash or feel bad about not earning.

We both have our own bank accounts, so there's a little extra to do with whatever we want, but tbh if DH has any spare (he earns more than me now) he usually just sends it over to the joint account, or picks up the credit card bill (also joint!).

We trust each other implicitly where money is concerned and have broadly similar spending habits (although he grumbles that I buy too many clothes), which is why it works so well. What's his is mine, and what's mine is his.

We opened one on Monday. Well i added him to the account i have that all the direct debits come out of.

We have been married 7 years.

Neither will have our salary paid into it but we will both transfer the same amount of money into it.

I wasnt bothered about it and was happy for dh to just transfer half of what everything cost over but he wanted it this way so i thought oh ok then.

The only problem is one of you can empty it and theres nothing the other person can do about it

We have both, a joint account for bills mortgage, savngs etc. We both pay the same amount into each month. I still have my own bank account and so does he into which salary is paid into it. That way we have our own money aswell. My parenst had a joint account, their only account and i grew up listening to rows over what money was spent etc. I will never put myself in that position, i work hard for my money. Also you never know what might happen down the road. Do a joint one for bilsls etc but make sure you keep your own

We had a joint account for just bills etc when we first rented together (1.5yrs) and now a complete joint account where both wages go etc after buying a house together (5 years). It's much easier than transferring back and forth etc and means we get a much better deal in terms of bank account, earning about £20 to £25pm in cashback and interest payments, so that adds up as essentially free cash each year.

Big con's if you aren't on the same page in terms of spending habits and if there are any trust issues. A few of our couple friends have had big problems with purchases the other hasn't agreed to or resentment from the higher earner if the lower earner likes shopping etc.

It works well for us as we tend to be on the same page financially and agree purchases in advance if more than £100.

DH & I share a joint bank account, but we also have a personal bank account each.
Our joint account pays for: mortgage, bills, food, cars, etc.
We still have our own money and we can do what we like with this.

I recommend doing the same so you always have your own money, just in case. (Also, if there is a problem with the bank or with your card, at least you have a different bank card you can use and you don't have to go without).

Sorry, should have said this too. We got our joint account as soon as we moved in together as it is primarily for household costs.

What Mrspepperpotts wrote

I do not think this is down to laziness on his part either. There are red flags here re this man and his financial control and it would pay dividends to take heed.

On a wider level what is he like with you day to day?. How does he treat you generally speaking?.

We keep our finances and investments very separate for tax reasons.

He pays some bills and I pay others. We have kids and are married. It's never been an issue.

If either of us are short money, we just ask the other to transfer some over. I don't find it very complicated. I guess it helps that we both have similar views on saving and spending.

We set up a joint account when we moved in together. We each put in our portion of the bills and mortgage plus any additional money we could spare. This then builds up a buffer for any other bills we may get such as car, vets or pay for house improvements.

We still have our own accounts for spending (he really doesn't need to know how much I spend on my horses!😬) and take it in turns for paying for the food shop.

This works well for us. I certainly wouldn't want a joint account which we put all of our money into and just used it as one big pot as I feel this could cause arguments about spending habits.

If your DP is reluctant to set one up just for bills and savings for the house, I would be questioning why.

I have a nasty feeling this man you're with does not want to share anything more than he absolutely has to.

You have already handed over a lot of power and control to him already (does your DD have his surname as well?) in this relationship and this is very worrying to read. It makes me also wonder what he thinks about marriage to you also.

We're another that had joint account for bills food etc. And our own for our salaries. We've been together 8 years lived together for 2.5 seems to work well for us :)

Well, what happens if you say you'd rather he transfer money to you?

I agree with the teeniest suspicion that he likes being the one in control...

Financial control because someone doesn't want a joint bank account? Bizarre.

I would never have a joint account with someone, to protect myself. Was never an issue with me and my ex husband, and he earned more.

If you do have one, make sure you have a separate one too. My friend got royally screwed over when her ex emptied their account and left the country with the money.

Same as most others:
1 joint account which covers mortage/bills/food/petrol etc
joint savings (using monzo, 'pots' for different purposes)

We each have individual current accounts which our wages are paid in to. We try and ensure we have equal 'fun money' left in our own accounts after we've transferred to the joint account and savings.

Recently married but it's been this way since we moved in together

Each month I transfer my half of the mortgage and bills to him and any time we do food shopping we take it in turns but I'm sick of the "I paid for x and y so you should pay for this" everytime we go shopping or do anything.

This is what also makes me think that financial control is coming into play here. Some men do use money to further control their other half.
Transferring her "half" as well into his account may be becoming increasingly difficult to do if OP has less money overall and/or is not working full or even part time.

We have had a joint account since we started living together, well before marriage or children. Initially we both paid a set amount in to cover the bills and had our own money. However since we've had children and I now earn a third of what DH does as I'm part time, we now both have our salaries paid into the joint account and transfer a set amount of spending money to our personal accounts each month.

I take full responsibility for the household finances, I pay all bills, do all budgeting and set what our personal spends can be for that month.

There is no 'my money', it's family money. Although I contribute far less financially, I run the house (which I view as a job in itself). DH has no interest in doing any of this stuff and is quite happy so long as there's food on the table and we're not in the red!