To ask you all to give me hope?

[wherearemypaintbrushes]

Hi all. I have been divorced for almost four years now and I have a lovely and talented DD. I have decided that I would like to start dating again and find somebody for me. However, I have very high standards and i'm finding it really hard I tried plenty of fish but I got a lot of unwanted messages from men and it's really making me lose hope. My 'type' is not very popular and I'm in need of advice.

What are you looking for ? Are there any specific qualities you'd like? Do you have any interests /work activities that might lead to an introduction to suitable men?

marylou - For physical features, ever since I was younger i've always been into feminine/pretty men. I've always felt lonely while experiencing dating as most of them aim to be muscular and handsome. I'm not into that. I like them to have a good sense of humour + caring for me and DD so really what lots of people want. Think meeting in a coffee shop type man I'm a teacher (nobody there that I like) but I have interests in gardening etc which may be useful in finding him. I don't know.

Hi OP, if you try posting in relationships you might get more advice, plus there are running dating threads there too! Good luck.

lock - ah thank you!

Imo free dating sites aren't where the majority of people go to find a serious relationship, you would be much better trying one of the paid for sites

The same men who are on paid sites are also on the free sites. I've seen them on both. I was on Match and the same men I saw on Match were on PoF and OK Cupid.

Perhaps OP, you need to move away from just looks and focus on other things you are looking for in a relationship. A man may be a bit too 'masculine' for you in his photo but photos are rarely the same as meeting the person in real life.

Try meeting a few men for coffee that meet 6/10 on your checklist instead of 10/10. For example, steady employment, single (not separated), same interests, likes children etc etc and see how it goes. A coffee is 20 minutes or however long it is and if you don't fancy them, then fine but at least widen your scope and give others a chance.

You might meet a lovely, kind, sincere, funny, creative man with big forearms and there might be a huge chemical attraction there. I've often found myself attracted to men on a purely physical level and we've had nothing in common and they aren't my usual 'type'.

I'd look to joining local horticultural organisations, gardening clubs and doing eg garden design courses thus expanding my range of people I meet - they could be the people to introduce Mr Right to you.

Thank you for advice. Will try a paid for site, hopefully it will be worth it 123 - your advice is brilliant and I will follow it. Good idea on the gardening clubs too. Thanks

POF is useless - it's a hook up site!
Tinder is slightly better but not much.
Try something like Match or Elite Singles.
There is always a dating thread on the go so have a that - it's THIS LINK
I would also look at Bumble. Men cannot message you - only women can start the conversations!

I’ve got to know a man and his lovely dog through dog walking- had several pleasant chats as we perambulate the park .

On Saturday he mentioned he was off to the supermarket where he hoped he might find “ the woman of his dreams “ .
I suggested he tried computer dating and he wasn’t keen .
He’s intelligent , well read and I’m sure would scrub up well for a date . Seems a pity that a lot of eligible people both male and female are destined never to find each other by their reticence . Strikes me that a paid site would be far and away the best bet for you .