Bad decisions

[energizer4pack]

About twenty years ago I was on a post grad professional course (leaving details vague) and two men asked me out. One showed a lot of interest in me as a person, wanted to get to know me, showed he cared. The other was more what I saw at the time as alpha and wowed me with his passionate gazes. I chose the latter. We had a relationship for 6 years, it was a disaster, and I finally left him a month before our planned wedding.

There were other lovely men who crossed my path, who I rejected for ridiculous reasons.

I then went on to marry someone I was even less suited to than my first fiance and to have dc. The dc are wonderful, obviously, the dh not so much, because I chose him for ridiculous reasons.

I made those decisions because at the time I had very little idea of what my true thoughts and feelings were, no idea about emotional intimacy. I was competent in almost every area of my life, other than this. And I think the man I rejected did have ideas about emotional intimacy and knew how they felt and treated people well and I can see it now, in hindsight, clear as day.

And I mourn the ridiculously bad decisions, not recognising someone who seemed to genuinely like and care about me all those years ago, who made it clear what they wanted, and not creating a home life which taught my dc all the right lessons easily.

I just thought I'd share all that.

Anyone else?

This is a bit much op, this guy just asked you out. Twenty years ago. You're imagining what it would have been like when you've no idea if it would have worked or not.

It's time to move on.

If you had gone out with him you might have only lasted a week! I think it’s sad you’re hanging on to such feelings of regret all these years later.

Look, I am Ms Bad Decisions - you name it, I have probably done it and crashed my face on the wall whilst doing it too, but beating yourself about it does not help! You never know, the guy that seemed lovely may have been a disaster in the relationship. You do not know. You have had the courage to get out a bad relationship, so give yourself credit for it and look forward!

This is displacement activity. If you don’t love your husband you can leave him.

Crumbs, my post was more lighthearted than it sounded!

I meant that I regret the reasons behind the decisions I made - yes of course it might not have worked out!

I had forgotten all about him until last night and then I thought - what was I thinking?

Anyway - onward and upwards.

Though, you name it, I have probably done it and crashed my face on the wall whilst doing it too I think I was after this sort of thing, some other tales of ridiculously bad decisions

You want tales? The list of my exes reads: Boris Johnson, Maryland Manson, Saddam Hussein & Margaret Thatcher (when I was in my experimental phase). Fortunately I then married Sean Connery and all ended well.

@annelovesgilbert I am in the getting ducks in a row stage.

I forgot Count Dracula, Gru fromDespicable Me and General Goebbels.

Hey Monna I was the side chick to all your men - what a rogues’ gallery.

Hey MK, how are you doing side chick? Did you also have a happy ending, I hope so (although hopefully not with the same Sean Connery I married) :)

Life teaches you the wisdom but only after it teaches you the lesson.

Sean Connery - a very attractive dude, I approve.

Attractive to look at but beat his wife

Oh dear. But I think it was meant as a metaphor for someone attractive on every level not to be taken too literally.

The next time I commit to a man it will be because he is kind, clever, funny over how he looks

Current dh looks like a bit like daniel craig. Not important any more. Not important.