I can't imagine ever having another relationship.

[Sparrowlegs248]

I'm 42, seperated on the way to divorced. (2 yr seperation). 2 small children. Work part time, spend every single night at home with the children. Stbx has had them twice overnight in 2 years.

Apart from the obvious logistical issues with meeting and actually seeing someone regularly, I just can't imagine it. It's not something I ever think about, but if I do, the thought of living with someone again fills me with horror ,let alone having them live with my children. I can't imagine a time when I would slow a man into my house while the children were here, and they are always here. I don t want a replacement dad, or a step dad.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or anyone else moved on from this way of feeling?

Why doesn’t your ex have them more ? The usual is a few days a week at least.

I feel like this.

I’m young (almost 30), living in London, no kids, but the idea that I would even meet someone I feel strongly about seems so unbelievable. How could anyone be worth going through what my husband put me through? How could I ever believe a man could be different? My mother and grandmother both divorced around my age (they had kids in their early 20s, I didn’t) and never had another relationship. My grandmother was bitter about it, but my mom loves her single life.

Maybe I’ll get meet someone someday, but for now I’m focusing on myself, for sure. Water your own garden for a while. I suppose you meet someone or you don’t — it’s about being happy regardless.

@Jane1978xx he just doesn't. He was very hands off when he was here , they are still young. I've been ok with it, as I'm not sure they'd have been all that happy staying over until now. Also, he "has to work". (So do I, but arrange and pay for childcare.....).

Something else, having had 2 large babies, certain parts aren't as they used to be. Nothing horrific, but most definitely (and I'm sure , noticably) changed. This also puts me off. That, and the fact that any child free time I get is precious and I want to spend it alone!

I feel like this. And I'm ok with it. Can't imagine ever living with another man. Certainly whilst my children live with me. Probably never tbh.

@Beesneeze82 I'm mostly ok with it too. Friends often comment about dating, or at least Online dating. I'm just not interested.

I feel like this. Been separated 4.5 yrs now. Can't imagine having another man in the children's lives.
I admire my friends in a similar position even more recently who talk about when not if they will meet someone else, but can't see it in my future at the moment.
I have a little more childfree time than you but exh is 150 miles away, so they only stay with him during the half-terms/school hols.

I think that coming to terms with and accepting the fact that you don’t want another relationship is quite liberating. I’m happy as i am. I have a nice home, good friends, decent job etc. I don’t need a man. If I ever did meet a lovely guy in the future I wouldn’t rule out a relationship but we’d never ever live together. I value my own space and peace too much

Single here near seven years love it don’t want anyone

Don't let yourself continue to be a victim of your ex. I'm way older than you and ended up married to the most lovely man after a similar scenario but later in life. You may well change with time.

I feel the same. As the children get older you get more time to socialise.

In my mind I could see someone on the days I don't work and eow when the children are with their dad. I don't want any relationship to be involved with my children.

I'm hoping as/when I meet someone on my terms that evolves over time. But for now I'm happy as I am

I don't have kids etc, but I'm the same- no particular desire to get into a relationship at the mo. Don't like my body (nothing much wrong with it, just my issues- I feel most attractive when I'm really skinny, although it's not as attractive in reality to other people.)

Also, would never live with a man again. Maybe it's a prejudice, but I fear they can be moody. We had to walk on eggshells around our dad all the time, and most men I've met have been in a mood sometimes. I suppose everyone has their moods, but I don't like living under the shadow of someone else's and tiptoeing around them. There are enough 'divorcing sulking H' and so on threads here with women having to live putting up with men's moods, that I wonder if there's some truth in my fear/prejudice.

Hi OP - my advice, for what it’s worth, is don’t think about meeting someone for a ‘relationship’ - just think about meeting people and doing all the things you love.

For example, I started doing the dating thing last summer, and over time, I realised that I was quite happy being on my own, doing what I wanted when I wanted and really didn’t want to ‘take care of anyone’ or have to compromise my own selfish way of living. However, I did like going out and enjoying myself. So that’s what I do. I meet men, tell them that I’ve got no interest in living with/marrying anyone but that I’m up for dinner, drinks, dancing, cinema, concerts etc and so far, so very good!

God, between feeling like crap myself, and snotty vomiting children, it's no bloody wonder I feel like this.

I just don't feel I have anything to offer. And even if I did have something, I'm Not sure I can be bothered to offer it.

Saying that, it does get a bit lonely at times. Or rather, it would be nice to have someone to talk to but I think that's more to do with how people communicate these days.

You sound like you need child free 'me' time rather than a relationship. You don't have to want a relationship, and as previous people have said, there is a lot of happiness to be had when you are contentedly single.
But you do need connections with other people, interests, and a life of your own.

I'm divorced with 2 young dc who I have 100% of the time. Like you, I just cannot imagine ever introducing a man to my dc, I don't want a stepdad for them. I do want a relationship but one that's completely separate from my dc and home. I don't think I'd ever live with a man again.

At the moment I have a housemate in my spare room who I'm very friendly with. This gives me just the right amount of adult company so that I don't feel lonely. It also means I have emergency childcare should I ever need it. Maybe look into getting a lodger or living with a friend?

I'm 10 years down the line and I definitely don't want another relationship. One of my colleagues keeps trying to set me up with random guys and struggles to believe that I am simply not interested. My kids are grown and gone (mostly) and I indulge myself with fantasies of being a crazy cat lady when (if) I can finally retire. Who needs a man?!

I've been 4 years on my own after getting out of an abusive marriage.
I have M.E and am exhausted at the thought of being in another relationship with a demanding man.

Also, I have nothing to offer. Nor do I trust anyone.

@Peanutbuttermouth that sounds ideal tbh. My children are young, but once they're in bed, they stay there. It would be great to be able to just pop out occasionally, sadly I don't have the spare room.

@LittleCandle I don't have the animals I'd like because it's just hard with young children on my own, but that's a great thought and I'm sure actually, if I could start doing what I did pre children (horses, have another dog etc) I thinking be much happier. It's who I am, but I can't manage it on top of the children and work.

I'm divorced with 3 just about adult children who are away with work/uni most of the time but still have a home with me. I will never marry again - how on earth can you promise to love someone until death more than once?!- and really don't want to live with anyone again. I have a boyfriend/OH/partner of 2.5 years who lives 30 miles away - we spend 3-4 nights a week together but the rest apart and it works really well. he is enjoying his independence after finally paying off his ex (no children) and doesn't want to marry or live with anyone for the forseeable future.

Maybe in 10 years time, if we haven't split up!, and my children have their own homes, we will get a house together but tbh the prospect fills me with dread. I like my own space. I love my own financial independence. There's no rule that says you HAVE to live with someone!

That sounds ideal @Blobby10