Hello. I don't know if it's just me being miserable but I am just not looking forward to Christmas. We usually do a secret Santa (siblings mum and stepdad) and often people spend nearly £100. In the past it's been fun but the last year has been stressful. I haven't seen my sister for three months as she is extremely volatile. She starts arguments and then accuses family of talking behind her back. She's also telling everyone she's going to try for a baby. She's nearly 40 and has an 18 year old. I've just been diagnosed as post menopause and although I couldn't have children even if I wanted (my child's dad took his life) it hurts that I've had no say in my life. I also suffer extreme tiredness and aches. I told my sister this and she just dismissed it and said "that's what I'm worried about so we are going to start trying". I was expected to babysit my nephew constantly when I was first widowed and I know I'll be expected to again. My family raise their eyebrows at her outbursts but say nothing. I've tried to stand up for myself in the past but then I'm the one in the wrong. Because it's Christmas we are supposed to be all happy families. I love my sister but I just don't like her. I'll have to sit and listen about their houses they rent out and their expensive holidays. I hate it. I'm in a council house and haven't been abroad in 8 years. I'd like to go away for my daughter's 18th but I feel pressured into doing an expensive secret Santa. I suggested a cheaper one this year bit was shot down (despite my mum originally saying it was a good idea). I feel stressed about the whole thing. Am I wrong? X