People with kids and people without

[scrapaja]

I was told after my c section that there were two types of people - people without kids and people with kids.

I've found this true in my life. My sister and I were so close and we've drifted apart now. I don't blame her because I have twins and they are hard work, but I'm so sad about it and I don't know if I can be there for her when she has kids because she isn't for me.

Anyone else been through this.

Yes. I lost most of my friendship circle when I had my DC. I had my first baby in my early-mid 20s. Most of my friends came to see baby a few times, but then lost interest. And I was so tired and preoccupied with motherhood I probably wasn't there for my friends as much as I could have been. I was exhausted and my idea of a good time was no longer their idea of a good time, so it fizzled out eventually. Now at 30, some of them are starting to settle down and get engaged etc. and one or two have gotten back in touch. That's nice, nice to hear from them. But our lives are on different paths now. And it's easier (and more enjoyable) to socialise with other people with kids of a similar age. Bad timing but it is what it is and I have a new social circle now.
Slightly different of course because it's your sister. Could you speak to her about it?

I think I'd just cry and I don't want to come across as selfish when she's trying to make a life for herself with her new boyfriend of a year. He takes a lot of her time and they always go and see his family. IDK I'm starting to develop my own social circle away from my sister but I just know if she gets pregnant that she'll expect me to me there. IDK if it's a older sister , younger sister thing.

I found most of my friends found it easier to socialise with other parents than those of us without kids. Not that we were ever out partying! So I cultivated new friends who didn't have or didn't want kids. I expected things to change of course but was a shame.