I don’t want it to be over

[Apparentlyacatch]

I am really struggling to come to terms with the end of my relationship. It was very short in that we were together just 3 months but they really were the best! I fell deeply in love, and we had a fantastic relationship - I felt it from him too, often he would say I am everything he’s looking for etc. We made plans for Christmas Day, plans for him to help me do up my new house - just so much, and it’s all been ripped away.

He left me as he doesn’t want more children, I do not have children. I have tried explaining that at this moment in time I am not fussed either way if I want them or not. I am really struggling as he’s throwing all of this what could be an amazing relationship away on a what if? He’s also now being very cold towards me and said there’s nothing I can say to change his mind so that’s that. I haven’t begged, msged or anything but I just feel I don’t exist anymore. He’s coming to collect the rest of his stuff from mine today and I’m dreading it, I’m going to be a mess after.

I just want him back 😢

Sorry to sound harsh, but he's probably done the right thing.
I have tried explaining that at this moment in time I am not fussed either way if I want them or not.
For someone who does not want children this is a clear warning signal that down the line there's a real possibility you're going to want him to change his mind. It is sad though and I hope you feel better soon xxx

Sounds like you've got caught up in a love bomb and he's now gone cold and moved on. It's very painful but it will pass.

How many children does he have? Not that it's relevant now. I know it's crap right now but it is for the best. ❤

Sorry, OP, but it sounds very intense, very quickly. What sizzles tend to fizzle...fast.

Sounds like the 'I don't want kids' was an excuse to end things. Leave his stuff outside the door and delete him from your life.

Three months?! You barely know him!

Move on.

Whilst the whole ‘he’s just not that into you ‘ sentence is so harsh to say and read it’s kind of useful in this type of situation

As it’s stops you torturing yourself on things
And thinking ‘if I show him I care and that I 100% don’t want kids he will
Come back ‘ etc

It’s over and the faster you accept that the better for your own mental health and sanity still sucks though

Sounds like an excuse to me

He ran for the hills about having DC's. Ít was obviously a conversation that scared him off.

I'm also going along with "he's just not that into you"

I know it sounds horrible and hard to accept, but it sets you free from trying to second guess his requirements.

Unfortunately OP, he doesn't agree with you and isn't in the same page. If he felt he wanted to stay he would; I wouldn't get hung up on the issue of children- he won't hear you out so it seems like for him there is more to it. You don't need to make huge life decisions and change yourself or beg in attempts to keep someone you've been with just 3 months- PP are right to say you do not really know him. When we really know people they don't often eave us blindsided, we aren't mystified by their behaviours.

Infatuation feels very real and this will hurt OP but it'll pass. He doesn't sound like the one for you. I would look up limerance, love bombing (he's done it) and remember that you can't miss what you didn't technically have-people have been saying things they don't mean as pillow talk or at the start of relationships before real life sets in, since the year dot.

Maybe he's been in this situation before.

I never wanted children and I have always been totally upfront with that. But after one experience with someone who "wasn't fussed about kids at this time" who later decided they did want kids and hoped I would change my mind, I'm afraid I would only now date someone who was totally on the same page.

Just remember these 3 life lessons:

1. You can't force someone to love you .

1. The only behaviour you can control is your own.
2. The only person that can make you truly happy is yourself.

Take him off the pedestal and put yourself up there instead.

Love yourself more. Find someone who wants the same things in life as you.