Leaving a narcissist situations-hip

[lawyerbae]

Hi all
I've been with a man for 5 months
He has kids young ones with his ex
Our relationship was fine we got on

But

1. Constantly borrowing money from me , expecting me to pay everything every time and the very first time we met I paid for the trip and the hotel, he bought drinks but asked for the money back! All conversations used to be about how broke he is and how depressed he is... i spent well over a couple thousands lending him and helping him

1. He goes to visit Kids at baby momma house and even they go on holidays together but surprise he doesn't want her to know he's in a relationship! I've didn't get go meet his kids ; he met mine several time whilst he was round mine

1. He refused to define the relationship ; and wanted a see as we go arrangement but we were doing everything a couple would do and more

He would get angry if I brought it up telling me he is still wanting to know more about me before committing So sex was nice but we didn't tell each other we loved each other! I didn't get to meet his relatives or friends and felt as though he was embarrassed of me or had other women strange because we spent so much time together

I then pulled away when I realised he's not committing and it followed on with a girls night out change of hairstyle and he was angry !!! He came to the place I had said we would without saying he would be but we left earlier and he tried to call my phone was off

So it was the blame game him saying oh maybe I've found a better man etc and that he couldn't forgive me as I'd done something soooo wrong!!!! I really feel sad used and abused and I don't know really whether to grieve a relationship that never existed

Was he using me for money
He always spoke of his problems as he was in and out with baby momma was secretly away from judges social workers they were coorparenting perfectly fine

I'm just lost

He was absolutely using you.

I was in a ‘relationship’ similar to this although he still insists we were never together (well over a year). The only difference was he didn’t use me for money, he was actually very generous.

Seriously, what kind of man buys drinks and ASKS for the money back!!!

He kept us a secret from his BM. I found out why after we split up...because he was shagging her the whole time.

He claimed depression and anxiety but now I think he just bought all that on himself by lying and hurting people.

Don’t waste a single second thinking you did something wrong. Just thank you lord you don’t have kids with him and run for the hills.

Sorry, but he was using you x

You really rushed into this, letting him meet your children and giving him money so early on.

I think you have been played so you need firmer boundaries and take time getting to know someone.

At least you will know to look out for red flags popping up in your next relationship.
Makesure you put in strong boundaries so you are not used.

Look into your past and how you were brought up, did you have loving parents? Did you have boundaries?
We're you codependent?
Is this a pattern?

You sound like a lovely person, get your hair done again, treat yourself to something nice and put this relationship down to a Universal life lesson.
Here's 3 pieces of relationship advice:

1. You can not force someone to love you.
2. The only behaviour you can control is your own.

3.The only person that can make you truly happy is yourself. Take him off the pedestal and put yourself up there instead.

You deserve somebody million times better than him.

How did it get past that first date

@Unknown199318 wow wow I'm
Sorry to hear this ; how did you get over this ?

@lexiepuppy Awwwww such beautiful words ; thank you so so so much! I feel so much empowered❣️❣️❣️
Bless you hey