Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to move on from a toxic ex

5 replies

amb38 · 15/11/2019 20:55

I'm really starting to struggle to not feel like crap constantly because of my ex! I'm 27 weeks pregnant with his baby and he has made me a total mess throughout my pregnancy. We're not together as he's abusive, controlling and cheated on me. I feel like all I do is think about him. I've received a million messages off girls since we split telling me he's invited them back to his etc etc. I know he's no good for me and I can't go back to him because of the past but it's just really hurting me the fact I'm growing his baby inside of me and he is out every single weekend and inviting girls around to his constantly 😣 how do I stop feeling like this! I feel guilty because I know my stress and feeling down isn't good for my baby 🥺

OP posts:
lexiepuppy · 15/11/2019 21:24

Well done you are no longer with a cheating , lying, controlling, abusive prick!

He will have trauma bonded you to him and you will literally have to detox yourself away from him. The chemistry in your brain will have you addicted to him as he has been abusive, this is not A normal ending to a relationship, so you will have to be strong.

*Delete him off of all your social media so you can't see what he is upto.

Tell your so called friends that you don't want to hear about who he is shagging and what he is doing.
They are not real friends if they keep hurting you by telling you info about him.

You don't need added stress being pregnant.

You need support from friends and family.
Look into getting counselling.
Look at doing the Freedom Programme You can do it online.
Speak to Women's Aid.

Buy the book by Lundy Bancroft Why does he do that?*
It tells you all about abusers.
Get an Sti check, if he has been shagging around.

Read up about narcissists/sociopaths/ psychopaths as abusers tend to be high in these traits and they hook you in.

Have as little to do with him as possible, go NC or grey rock.

You need to stay strong for your baby.

Try and build yourself up as much as possible with supportive friends and family.

Good luck. Flowers

cheshire53 · 15/11/2019 21:36

So sorry you are feeling like this OP. So loads of girls are messaging saying that he's asking them to go back? So let the next girl put up with all his shit. You know what he is bringing you? A whole lot of anxiety. Shut down social media and if girls have got your phone number then wonder how they have got it. Tell your mates you don't want to hear any info about him and start getting engrossed in good films and every time you think of that cretin- realise that this does not mean anything about you,this is hurting you because you believe that him asking girls to go back is a worser outcome for your life than if he wasn't doing that. How do you know? If he wasn't doing that you might have got back with him and lived a miserable life? Maybe him asking those girls now means you will choose to never go back and meet someone else? Someone way more suited to you? Xx

cheshire53 · 15/11/2019 21:37

@lexiepuppy I think I'm going to have a look at that book! X

BellaElla99 · 15/11/2019 22:04

I am literally going through the same thing and I am also 27 weeks pregnant and we have a 4 year old. It’s so hard, I hate him for what he’s done but I miss him too. I’ve had the cheating, emotional abuse, lying etc also and it’s so draining.

Sorry, not much help but you aren’t alone! I try and think about how quick these next few months will go and before we know it, baby will be here and be a massive distraction. X

amb38 · 16/11/2019 11:40

Thank you for all the advice I'm going to take a look into that book and hopefully start feeling better soon! I hope when my baby arrives I'm so in love and obsessed all my other feeling will go away ❤️

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread