Hey guys. Im wondering if you can help me. Its a tough one so strap in.
Ive been with my husband for 14 years. Married for 8.
I had suspicions he was suffering from depression in July but he kept saying that he was fine and not opening up. Beginning of August he decided to tell me that he wasn't sure what he wanted, that he felt like he was living in a fog and a haze and that he didn't want his life anymore. He then left, simply stating that he just didn't love me anymore. He moved out, leaving me with the house and the dogs and all the bills. Luckily I have a great job and managed just - we dont have kids just him (my step kids) I didn't chase him, left him to get on with his side of life and got on rebuilding mine. We argued a little over text occasionally, he was pretty shitty to me, told me to stop acting like a victim and that he had enough going on in his life without me being a bitch etc.
He moved away from us and tried to sell our businesses as he said that he just wanted out of his life and the area.
The most he ever left me alone for was 5/6 days, always asking random questions like could I find his passport or how were the dogs. I replied coz im soft :-( and very very rarely texted him unless I had no choice.
He then started doing random things for me, filling up our central heating tank and paying for it, offering to take my car to the MOT (not strange but it meant hed have to do a 2 hour round trip to pick it up as i was at work)
Then 10 days ago he started sending me apology texts, saying that he was sorry for what hes done and that hes sorry he was so awful. He said that he wished more than anything that hed talked to me about how he felt before he left.
Some of his messages didnt sound right so I asked him to come up and see our dogs. The person who walked in was NOT my husband. Hed lost 3 stone and looked like hed got a horrible illness or something. He sat on the sofa hugging the dogs and sobbed saying that he has panic attacks every hour and its getting worse. He said that leaving made no difference at all and that he doesnt want to be here anymore.
After a lot of talking I managed to get him to allow me to take him to the doctor, who has said hes got severe depression and anxiety and has suggested that we look at our relationship down the road a little.
After the doctors he told me that he was going to view a place to live closer to me, when hed looked he said that it was small and expensive.
I said that hed be better off moving into my spare room, giving me the rent and looking after our dogs - I work in care and the dogs go into kennels every week so I can work - the day after I offered this he messaged me to say that hed like to move back in.
So thats where we are.
He messages me every morning and evening and throughout the day, but its very basic.
Im just confused as to what to do. It appears the split was due to his mental health - Im 99.9% no one else was properly involved
Has anyone got any tips, advice, help etc?
Thanks for reading