Partner should help more.

[RupeHolmes]

My wife and I are in the process of splitting. For various reasons, we are still in the family home, but this will change in a few months when I’ll be moving out. She sleeps on the sofa, and I sleep in our bed, so she doesn’t disturb me when she goes to work. She is the breadwinner, I stay at home to look after our DC’s (13 and 9) and haven’t worked since they were born, having devoted my time to looking after them. Her pay goes into a joint account, and we have two bank cards. Obviously when we split I will be looking for a job.
I have retreated into online role playing gaming, and met a wonderful lady online. She lives 150 miles away and we will be meeting up soon. DEx knows about her and is happy for me to meet her. In fact, she has implied that we should develop the relationship and supports me seeing her. My new friend is going to pay my fare to see her, but I’m not happy turning up to see her without some money in my pocket. I’ve asked my soon to be ex if I can withdraw some money from the account to take with me, but she isn’t happy. Given the amount of time I’ve devoted to looking after the children, I don’t think I’m asking an awful lot. It would be embarrassing to ask my new friend to pay for everything. I’m not sure how else I can put it to her.

Whether it’s ethical for you to use your ex’s money to go shag another woman is besides the point. As it’s a joint account you are entitled to use the money inside it. I do think you are going this the wrong way though - your priority should be getting a job instead of the shag

Reverse....

Your priority should be the children and finding a job, not hooking up with someone new straight away.

🙄

I think asking your ex to fund things with your new GF is asking a lot. Unless there's some specific reason you can't work, like kids with SN or illness yourself, with school age kids I'd be making getting a job rather than a new relationship your priority. I'd think probably reverse too.

I love these posts You make yourself sound so saintly!

So the past 3 or 4 years since both DC are in school, you couldn't find some type of PT work even but chose to be online gaming.

I imagine you want to go meet this online woman to see if she's a suitable candidate for you to move in with.

Your DW sleeps on the sofa and she works full time but you get the comfy bed. So she doesn't disturb YOU? wtf? You aren't up all night feeding an infant. The bedroom is more private though so you can stay up late chatting and cybering with your game buddy. It'd be a bit embarrassing to be out on the sofa and have you kids catch you spanking it with game buddy wouldn't it.

I think your priorities are screwed up. Focus on finding work for yourself. You can spend all the time your spend gaming and looking for potential shagmuffins to find a job and get yourself sorted if you're really leaving. Or maybe the only reason you're leaving is because of the stranger you met online?

You want your spouse to agree that you should use family income to facilitate your adultery?

On the off chance this is for real your STBXW should give you your one way bus fair and some pocket money then send you on your way.

She should use the time to reclaim the bedroom and get legal advice. Meanwhile you need to get job hunting the days of being a SAHP are no longer.

Nah. You lost me at describing the sleeping arrangements. It's a reverse. Fucking hate these.

Reverse