Am I over reacting?!

[hgo1105]

Found out that my OH has been speaking about a sex film (which I knew nothing about) with another woman... not hardcore - just a sexy 18 rated movie - am I overreacting by saying it is inappropriate to talk about it with her?

Massive overreaction!

Eh?

My OH watched a sex film and has been speaking about it alone with another woman. Has never mentioned it to me - massively defensive when I asked questions about the film etc. It’s got my back up - I may be overreacting though!

What was he saying

'I would love to do that with you' then you arenr over reacting

'Have you seen x film, I really enjoyed it' then you are over reacting.

What film was it?

What sex film? It doesn't sound like porn? Are you thinking he flirts by watching naughty movies and then talks to unsuspecting women about them in an attempt to shag them?

Which other woman?

What do you mean by “sex film”?

How did you find out?

Honestly, I don’t know what the film was - I heard him say oh this is that film with the blow up doll and sex I was talking about (literally those words - not discreet so maybe that’s a good thing?) he has a history of being unfaithful so maybe that’s why I’m thinking the worst? I don’t know... sorry guys haha!

Other woman is a colleague that is staying with us for a few days (A friend told me this is odd too but I’m not sure)

So a sex film or a film with sex scenes in?

Either way you are overreacting.

There's a Manga type film about a blow up doll who becomes real....the only other film I know with a blow up doll is Airplane

I'm intrigued!

Yes overreacting but that's because he's broken your trust so I don't blame you.

I have never heard anyone use the phrase sex film😂😂

He cheats on you. That’s a bigger worry than who he discusses daft films with.

Lynn, this is a sex film! This is Defcon 1!

I would say it's a bit flirty. So sorry he cheated on you. What a wanker! I suppose you will always be on the lookout for a next time- you're not overreacting. especially in the context of him cheating in the past.

A bit flirty. ?🤣 best make sure I never mention films with sex in sex film to my mates then,,,,

Op if his cheating has got you to this level of insecurity and paranoia it's time to end it for your own mental health.

So it could have been a comedy? Because you have no clue what the film is?

Threads like this are so odd

'Am I over reacting because do did xyz'
When the answer they want isnt forth coming 'well he has cheated so that why I am over reacting'.

I often wonder if they have cheated at all. Also, why they thought with holding that information is a good idea.

History of cheating

Well, are you happy in your relationship with a man who has cheated on you and you can't trust? This is your life with him, always on the look out for potential threats and dalliances.

Been there. Dumping the fucker and living free of all that is best thing I ever did.

@simone1863

Have woken this morning and realised that I may have overreacted a little - I guess if I was sure it was wrong I wouldn’t post asking.
Honestly though - I thought this was supposed to be somewhere people could go to ask such things, whether it’s about relationships or parenting or anything, not where they would be laughed at. I don’t think people would tell strangers parts of their personal lives unless they felt they had no where else to go - and I really don’t think anyone would make up being cheated on - it’s hardly something to be proud of.

Thank you to those that helped though - I appreciate it, even though I was clearly being an idiot!

I think you got laughed at because your explanation was so vague and you said sex film because it sounds like it was just a film with sex scenes.

Like I'd talk to my mom about Game of Thrones and that had sex scenes but I don't think it was an inappropriate conversation.

More interested in why you're letting his female colleague stay in the first place...