BF is emotionally black mailing me-need advice

[BronzeSilverGold13]

Hi all, sorry for the long post. I just need advice, sorry if it seems trivial also.

I've been with BF for 11months ( dated in school about 6years ago)

When we got together he moved in with me and my mum (im a uni student couldn't afford my own place) pretty much straight away.

About 6 months ago we got our own place and since then I've pretty much been paying for him, the house, and all bills, food etc. He had a zero hr job but hasnt had any work since August.

Since I went back to uni in September he's been moody, snappy and just causing arguments.
My mum says he's emotionally manipulative which I agree with.

So last week he broke up with me and immediately felt bad and we got back together. Friday just gone he broke it up again and he didn't feel bad until I'd left for my mums... I stayed the weekend at my mums and he pleaded with me to come home... I went in Sunday and he said all the sorries in the world.

On Tuesday night just gone he started another argument and he didn't speak to me until Wednesday dinner whilst I was at uni... I rang him to check in and he was snappy and mean. I rang back about 6ish and he sounded like he was gonna break it off again!

I took my mum at that point and went to my house to gather my stuff and he wasnt fussed!

After a while he messaged me and rang me to tell me how sad he was and how he'll change.

All day to day he's been switching between he wants me home, he'll do anything for me, he lives me more than anything... to... if I don't come home tonight we can't be together!

He does have mental health issues so I worry about him.
I love him so much it hurts but I don't know if I can be with him anymore.

I have people I love telling me it'd be best if I left him, but I love him and I'm torn. I don't want to be hurt but even I can see he's emotionally abusing me by always blowing hot and cold!

Any comments would be nice even if they're bad comments... I know it might sounds childish/ selfish!

Make the final decision for him and dump him. He doesn't sound like much of a catch.

He's abusive, manipulative, lazy, and cruel. You are in a relationship with a worthless cocklodger. Is this really what you want for your life? Do you really think he's the best you can get?

I can promise you one thing, he doesn't give a fuck about you. Most people show more concern and respect to total strangers than he shows you. I hope you are wise enough to bin him right now.

He is not emotionally blackmailing you, he is just a fucking waste of your time. Bin him.

I am in a situation abit similar, I am only 23 - he has two kids though and has cheated on me (found out 3 days ago)

I completely understand the torn feeling, but you have to be brave.

Think about can you imagine your life with him in 5 years, would you want to marry a man like that?

My mum keeps telling me, it is not your job to look after your partner like this - you are both there to support each other, but it should not be this one sided, and it should not be at detriment to your own happiness.

Sometimes you have to choose YOU, and there is someone out there who will take all your hurt, and put it all together and you will feel completely loved and looked after x

I think the choose You, comment is do true.
Your young, this should be the joyous part of your life.
Your bankrolling him, and he wants his bank back.

Oh JEEESUS.

Ok, so what kind of life do you want? A fun happy productive one, or a miserable shitty time running around trying to keep a twatty manipulative little shit happy?!

DUMP HIM!

You're even paying for the little arse - omg. Yep, I bet he wants you back. Be prepared for serious manipulation when it dawns on The Giant Tantrumming Toddler that he's just ripped up his meal ticket...

And it's funny how many of these types have mental health issues which mean that tragically they have no choice but to treat people absolutely abysmally.

Leave him. Bloack his number. Move out if you have to. Just get RID before you get any deeper in with this life-wrecking idiot.

if I don't come home tonight we can't be together!
Well then, that's the easy way out.
Block him right now and don't go home tonight.
Job done!
Stop allowing this lazy, manipulative wanker to run your life.
This is YOU and this is YOUR life.
You are allowing him to dictate how it will go.
WHY?
Because your mum sounds pretty clued up!
Listen to her!
Do NOT go back tonight.
End it.
Go and get your stuff and leave him to himself.
It's not even a year together and it's already this hard!
WTF is the point?
Stop feeling guilty.
You cannot save him.
He has to save himself.
You enabling all this shit is NOT helping him!
He has broken up with you 5 times in the space of a week.
End his indecisive misery!
And do NOT go back again.
You will be on this carousel for the rest of your time with him.
So get the hell off of it!

He's a real wanker. Think of your self-esteem. You have feelings too, you don't deserve to be treated like this.

He's so cruel, intentionally or unintentionally. Whether he means to be cruel or not, the effect on you is the same. I don't think you should put up with it. End it, or he will always have the upper hand xxx

He doesn't want to be with you. But each time he dumps you he realises he's got no one to pay for everything and has to ask you to come back.

Sorry to be harsh but that's it in a nutshell.

Op you aren't responsible for his mh but you are for your own.
If i was your dm I would be giving you a shake tbh.
Ltb and delete /block his number today.

Dump. Now.

He is a total shit. He is emotionally and financially abusive - do not try to share your life with this man - he will destroy you - total fucking scum, run away as fast as you can.

What do you get out of this relationship exactly?.

Please take heed of what the others have written here. Love should not hurt like this. What he is showing you is not love, its control and abusive. You cannot love someone as disordered of thinking as he is better; it does not work. You will just destroy your own self in the process.

Are you a rescuer or saviour when it comes to relationships?. Neither approach works. Are you really confusing love here with codependency?. Are you codependent in relationships?. Why are his needs and wants more important seemingly than yours?.

Love your own self for a change OP and work on rebuilding your life and self worth because this bloke has done damage to your own shaky boundaries that are now further weakened.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. This is also a question that needs your serious consideration.

Why on earth do you love him?

Are you sure you're not just in love with the idea of being in love and having a partner and sharing a home together, and all that entails?

He sounds awful, just stay at your mum's, put this down to experience, and do some work on your self esteem to gain some answers as to why you put up with, and subsidise, such a shoddy boyfriend.

take it from an old one, do not shackle yourself to a wanker like this for the rest of your life, just dump him and find someone to enjoy life with with!