Leaving him...

[youngandconfused99]

This is going to be a long one I will try and keep it simple!

I am 23, living with my BF (30) and he has two children who visit every weekend.

We have lived together 2.5 years, in this time he has dumped me 4/5 times, but always wanted me back within a week or so.

He has a too close relationship with the mum of boys, and I have always wondered if he would rather be with her etc.

In the last 6 months, he has left me without a word at like 9/10pm and I have found out he has gone to stay there...

He did it 2 weeks ago, so I have ended the relationship.

He stayed there again last night, so I have told him if he isnt moving out, I will (we rent a house, my parents have already said my room is waiting for me)

I think he has now realised I am not joking or trying to prove a point and he is now telling me he loves me, and doesn't want me to leave etc etc

I think really I just want someone to tell me who isn't my friends or family, that leaving someone who doesn't make you happy is okay?

I feel so guilty, but I know he doesn't love me, and he has been cheating, but It s gut wrenching hearing him basically beg me not to leave :(

Leave him and go home to your parents.

You are too young with so much life ahead of you to be trapped in this shit situation.
He is shagging her.
Ive been in the same situation as you, at a similar age, with the same happenings of staying out overnight etc. We were engaged. I dumped him and never looked back. The begging is being it doesnt suit HIM right now for you to leave. But you should do what is right for you.

He has shown you before he does what he wants, time to do what you want.

Leave and block his number for a few days. Tell him youll be back on X date with your mum and dad to collect the rest of your belongings. Job done.

You can and will do better. Someone not weighed down by exs and kids and cheating and lack of respect for your relationship.

He is fucking the mother of his children

Why does that make you feel guilty ?

All of the above. Go.

There is a reason why he wants you to stay, possibly someone who pays half the bills?

My advice would be to take your kind parents up on the generous offer to move back home and leave him. Defo someone going on behind the scenes with his kids mum, no reason for him to leave and go stay there that late at night. He’s making a fool of you and if he did love you he really wouldn’t be behaving in such a manner.

It’s shit and it won’t be easy but you deserve so much better than to be treated like a mug. He’s made his bed now make him lay in it

Your relationship should make you feel safe, secure and loved.
You're young and you deserve better. You are right to leave.

It's not even a matter of leaving someone who doesn't make you happy being ok, though it is of course. Leaving someone who treats you like shit is beyond ok. xxx

Run for the hills...

Go to your parents, as if your bf leaving whenever he likes to go to his exs overnight would ever be ok. Who does that? Someone who thinks he has all the power and control . Give him a shock and make him realise he is not the one holding all the cards. You shouldnt have to be dealing with that at your age and when presumably u help with his kids at the weekends too... (you should never have to deal with that full stop). Dont even feel guilty about it . He is not deserving and manipulating you not to leave.

Stop all your direct debits and debt payments tonight and get the fuck back to your parents' place!

You should have done this after the first "dumping", but better late than never

Dump him immediately.

He has no respect for you, he is leaving you in the middle of the night to fuck someone else. He does not love you. If you stay, you're a doormat.

Hey, thanks everyone for replying!! I went to my parents tonight to sort my coming home and that’s all ready for the weekend.

I’ve come back to the house to sleep , and he’s given me the puppy dog eyes, I’ve gone straight upstairs! It’s so hard for me to not give in, but I’m staying strong however much it’s hurting

Well done OP!

He will be putting some serious work in, but just remind yourself of all the bad times he’s put you through. He won’t change, I promise you he won’t.

Yeah I know deep down he won’t ever change, and it’s not fair on anyone Involved to keep playing this game!

I’ve said he doesn’t miss me, he misses having someone, not me in particular or else he wouldn’t have treated me the way he has