It's so ridiculous, why can't I move on

[GreyTS]

I don't know what I even hope to get from this but I can't talk to anyone in rl, and before I start yes I know I'm an idiot and it's my own fault but I am in so much emotional pain. About 2 years ago I got a message from a man I had seen on the school yard for years, at the time I was married which I made clear and he said he was single (hmm ) we became close friends and as my marriage fell apart I confided a lot in him and yes we did occasionally kiss but nothing more
Then I found out that he had a long term gf, I didn't even bother talking to him, I deleted and blocked him from everything and ignored him in public
We did eventually become friends again and my marriage ended a year ago. I have dated a bit but nothing has gone past a couple of dates mainly because I am in love with my friend 🤦‍♀️
A few months ago we started sleeping together but I put an end to it recently, I was honest that I couldn't cope with the lying and sneaking around so we have returned to friends only
But every time I see him it kills me, sure I could cut him off completely but we live in a small town in Ireland and we share all the same hobbies so I would still see him at least twice a day even if we don't speak
Will I get over this eventually, I no longer spend time alone with him so won't ever "accidentally"fall into bed again, short of moving towns wtf can I do?
Oh and just because it's kind of funny, I'm ridiculously pretty, get asked out constantly by perfectly lovely handsome and nice men, (so I'm not desperate for a man) he really isn't, but I am insanely attracted to him and I have literally never felt like this about anyone ever.....please help, say awful things about my character if you must but I have to get over this 😭

I think you should pursue him, break up his family and make him move in with you. That way instead of being the other woman you will be the main woman and he can go out and find another woman for the side.

This way you'll know what it's like to be cheated on and next time you might not be so quick to be such a home wrecker.

FWIW, you aren't ridiculously attracted to this man, it is infinitely more likely that there is something else going on and it will be a good idea to speak to a therapist and try and work on whatever issue is causing this attraction.

Thanks, and yeah I know that's how things would go. And just btw, not that it matters but he doesn't have a family, she is a gf, they live separately and she has children but he doesn't. But of course he would do exactly the same to me and I'm sure he has already replaced me. The therapy could be a good idea

I don't think you necessarily have issues- anyone can fall in love/get a crush. Your main issues might be in your marriage- there's probably something wrong that you would have any interest in actually acting on an attraction/playing away.

Think about how you feel about your marriage, daily life and husband. Without telling him what you've been upto (which mightn't be a good idea) you could tell him what's making you unhappy or unfulfilled. You could both try and fix it, or if that doesn't work, get couple's counselling.

Individual therapy wouldn't hurt though. At the very least, it might help you get past your feelings for this man and discomfort at seeing him around.