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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Overbearing friend

8 replies

Pinkwhistles · 12/11/2019 23:32

Distanced myself from a friend over the last year or so, as there were a few instances she seemed quite spiteful and nasty towards me for no apparent reason.

I was happy with the reduced contact and occasional catch ups, and happy to have continued that and (Possibly) gradually phased out the friendship. However, she’s becoming overbearing and I’m not sure how to handle it.

She keeps asking really intrusive questions to me via text, even when I openly state I don’t feel comfortable discussing whatever it is with her, she rambles on, giving her (unwanted) views / advice on how to improve my life.. for what it’s worth, I’m actually fine and happy! But she seems intent on putting me down - and sent me messages saying she’d help me ‘get out of the rut’ I am in confused no idea why she decided I’m in a rut - even if I was, she’s the last person I’d open up to!

For example - I moved out from my parents house several years ago, but she has suddenly started ‘popping in’ to see them confused they never had a friendship bedsides hello and goodbye when she’d visited me while I lived there. They are as confused as I am, but are also very polite. Both retired, so at home most of the time, which she knows.

I’m not sure how to handle it - it all feels a bit odd!

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 12/11/2019 23:44

Cut her out. You don't need to be polite. Tell your parents not to let her in and be very honest with them when you tell them why. Tell them she's been spiteful towards you and is mentally unbalanced.

Tell the "friend" that you don't wish to communicate with her any more and neither do your parents...be clear that she is NOT to call on them any longer.

Then block her.

OldEvilOwl · 13/11/2019 14:33

Be blunt. Tell her she's rude/out of order. If she argues tell her to fuck off

hellsbellsmelons · 13/11/2019 14:57

As others have said you need to be very blunt.
She starts to give her opinion, cut her off.

I do NOT want your opinion on that.

If she won't stop then hand up or stop messaging.
Personally, I'd block her on everything after one last message.
'You are overbearing. I don't want or value your opinion on anything. I like my life. I like my life without you in it. Stop hounding my parents. They feel uncomfortable when you visit them.
Then block, ignore, delete.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/11/2019 15:00

What everyone in the thread said ^

GertrudeCB · 13/11/2019 15:03

Ghost her.

theoriginalmadambee · 13/11/2019 15:19

even if I was, she’s the last person I’d open up to!

Tell her this, then block. Ask your parents to not open the door when it's her or turn her away.

ISawyouinTescoyesterday · 13/11/2019 20:36

Oh dear. Don't put up with this nonsense.

Ilovethekitties · 13/11/2019 20:55

Tell her to save your new number '0121 do one' and put that bish in the bin

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