He's not dead and he's not dying but let me explain.
My father was a drunk and a chest to my mother when I and my siblings were young. He moved out in the 90s to go and buy right next door to his mistress where she had his baby a few years before he moved out.
He never helped our mother. The times in the 80s meant a lot of women stayed at home to look after the home and children and thats what my mother did while my father earned a wage. The 80s when I was small was a good time. The early 90s through up so much from my parents.
He was hardly ever home except for coming home drunk late at night. He was abusive towards our mother. He was a cheat with a mistress but it wasn't just one woman either. His mistress was just too blind to see through him. He even chased after his mistress's sister at one stage.
After he moved out, I held up a good relationship with him. Well, it was as good as it could be. He was busy working. I was busy with school, and work and college etc. And we spoke and were on good terms when we saw it other and that was it.
Anyways, he is in his 60s now but he's more like a 90 year old man with hardly any teeth left in his head the last time I saw him. He wrecked his health with smoking and a 60 a day habit. He got into a lot of debt too but that was also his fault. He had it good. He bought his second house at a good time but he blew it all.
Basically when the time comes I don't want to go to his funeral. I don't want to see him again and that also means when he's dead in a coffin. I can't forgive what he did. I and my siblings grew up in poverty because he was too busy treating his whore to pub nights out and holidays. I can't forgive that and all that he's done. No body will understand poverty unless you've been in it. I can remember winters with no heating. If something broke it remained broken. We never would have eaten of it wasn't for the local shop and 'I owe you' book system for the locals.
I can't forgive my father for all the damage he did.
Me and mom were talking this morning and I mentioned it to her when the time comes I don't want to go to his funeral. She said something or but we have to for appearances sake.
There's another reason I don't want to go. I have a sister. She is a major drama queen and trouble maker. She fell out with the family and hassled us for a long time. I don't want to be in the same room as her.