Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ExH. This is weird, right?

33 replies

bulkingforwinter · 12/11/2019 15:20

Just to give background - My ex is a dickhead. An abusive arsehole, sees the children every couple of months when it suits him, argues over everything, ticks every box in the covert narcissist handbook. He met someone and married her a few months later, introducing her to the DC as their new stepmum. Moved 200 miles away to live with her and consequently barely sees the DC. Never mind, we are better off the less he is around - but. The constant emails about contact where he is changing this or that, cancelling, announcing which weekends and holiday dates the children will be with him (not asking, announcing..) - in every email he copies in his new wife, writes 'WE will have the children' and 'WE will pick them up' and are all signed Kind regards, Wanker & MrsWanker. It irritates me but I am trying not to rise to it, but I really don't want to include a total stranger into a conversation about our children, I don't know her, and I don't see how contact arrangements have anything to do with her. I have had very little contact with her apart from a couple of emails from her where she ranted that I was being unfair and unreasonable blah blah blah. Is this common, should I just accept it as one of these things and chose my battles although it's weird, right? I live with DP but I don't get involved in the contact arrangements he has with his ex wife.

OP posts:
ScreamingLadySutch · 12/11/2019 17:00

Very good move to rise above it.

He is trying to wind you up in order to get attention. So ignore it. You win when you rise above it!

Good luck with the contact schedules. Hopefully he will get bored and leave you alone fairly soon.

Thingsdogetbetter · 12/11/2019 18:05

This is not a battle to fight because it's a trap. He's dying for you to pick him up on it because in his nutty egotistical mind it'll prove you're jealous and not over him.

Turn it round. Always reply to them both, make out you're really happy she's an (over) involved stepmum. Make a point of questions that involve her - would Mrs wankface like chocs from the kids at Xmas. Can't Mr a wankface have then if he tries to change plans etc. Say how much YOU love Mrs wankface's involvement, but the kids would like some one to one time with their dad. Etc

Rub his nose in the fact YOU don't give a flying fuck he's become a couple! He'll get bored.

Thingsdogetbetter · 12/11/2019 18:06

Mr a = mrs.

Heartburn888 · 12/11/2019 18:13

I would ignore the emails, it’s unlikely he will turn up right? To me to sounds like he’s trying to provoke you and get a rose and there must be an element of mistrust between exh and his new gf/wife if she must be copied into every single email. Why does she needs to see, surely they would discuss it in person before sending the email.

It is weird though.

bulkingforwinter · 12/11/2019 18:50

@Bluntness100 no drip feed unless y'all want some Daily Mail-esque entertainment Smile, I don't have an opinion on the new wife, I don't even know her. Ex is just a basic controlling wanker who has got lucky and managed to get a ring on the new victim's finger quickly. His dysfunctional dating history would fill a separate thread in a day but he met the current love of his life in August last year, by September he had moved in with her and her DC, and by October they were engaged. And is now lovebombing her blind. I just wish they would both move to New Zealand but of course that would be shit for my DC.

OP posts:
Sandals19 · 12/11/2019 22:15

In addition me way I think poor woman, in another, she's let things move far too quickly esp with her kids on the picture.

I think men like him seem like great prospects/love of my life type stuff because they're so willing to commit, and it's such a wonderful contrast with all the shaggers and commitment phones .... But you didn't not know the real them.

You can feel sorry for her and just let his pathetic behaviour be water off a duck's back.

Sandals19 · 12/11/2019 22:15

*in one way

Sandals19 · 12/11/2019 22:16

*don't know the real them

New posts on this thread. Refresh page