Relationship

[Doodacky]

My partner of 3 yrs treats his 28 yr old daughter like a child. She lives with her husband of five yrs and her mother (never lived without mumma) and now he is flying over to take care of her after a minor surgical procedure for 9 days yet he lamblasts me for even loaning my boys 17 yrs and 20 yrs any money even though he pays it back immediately. I get so frustrated. She is such a spoilt girl but because she has a good job she apparently is a good girl. Grr

yet he lamblasts me for even loaning my boys
Why are you allowing this?
I hope you tell him to fuck off and mind his own business.
I'd also tell him if he mentions again anything you do for your own DC you will kick his sorry ass out.
I do despair at times!

Why aren't her mother and husband looking after her?

Do you tell him to fuck off when he tries to tell you what to do with your money?
Especially when he's choosing to spend money on an unnecessary flight.

Yeah I hear you. Feel the same. About ready to unleash. He earns 3 X more than me and I suffer bad anxiety so am a bit frightened to speak up up but am so angry right now. Told him it's ridiculous and her hubby should be the one to look after her. I guess I'm scared to speak up.

I don't understand how you treat each other or why.

Going to look after his daughter is a lovely thing to do, why object? And it's your call on whether to loan your kids money, again why is he objecting?

Why are you both objecting to each other doing things for your kids? It's just odd.

My objection and anger stems from how he reacts when I help my children, yet if you read the post you would see his daughter is 28 and married. She has a mother and husband who could take care of her for the two days she needs. If it was important I would understand. We love our children but this is minor.

Ok then instead of playing tit for tat and engaging in some ludicrous war talk to one another.

It's lovely he wants to help his daughter out. Just because there are others, doesn't mean he shouldn't. And you can lend your kids money.

Talk to each other and agree to stop attacking each other about helping your kids out and to encourage each other to do so instead.

The whole thing is nasty, from both of you. You should be encouraging each other to support your kids, not ripping each other apart to prevent it.

So the problem is with your partner, and yet you save your contempt for the daughter...
Be angry with the right person...

Why are you two together at all?. Why is this man allowed to dictate to you so?. Apart from anything else he is a poor example of a stepfather figure to your sons.