Normal to want to be alone ?

[Frankieferocious]

I feel like everybody I know is looking for someone. Even if they aren't looking for a relationship, they're looking for someone they can have a casual thing with, it seems to be human nature.

I've decided for now at the age of 28 that I have given up. I've been on and off the apps but have deleted them. Over the years I have been unfortunate to have been cheated on, in abusive situations and lied to/misled.

There is a part of me that holds a lot of anger towards men and has a strong mistrust of them.
Ive even had a married male friend come onto me, another tell me if he wasn't married he would ask me out, etc.

My life is busy. I have two jobs, I do athletics, and I am otherwise resting or seeing family and friends.

I have a busy schedule and couldn't imagine having to make time for a partner any more than once per week, or having to text frequently and plan my life around someone.

I have decided I don't need anyone. I want to be independant in every way and I will not settle for someone just to be in a relationship.

I don't want to be somebody's other half. I've seen how I am when I get feelings, and I'm tired of being judged for being 'shy, not challenging' or being told they 'just don't love me' yet they are fine to sleep with me.

I don't want to have to pick up somebody's crap off the floor or feel pressured to entertain someone.

I don't need a partner in my life. Maybe I will change my mind one day, but i'm not going to compromise my hobbies and myself.

Does anyone else feel the same, and has found themselves happier ?

I think you might be me😂 iv been single for over a year and im loving it. People keep saying for me to get out there and make sure i get a good one this time! They cant understand that i really am happy on my own..iv never been content when iv been in a relationship..

@Louise91417 i'm really glad to hear that and happy for you ! I think a lot of people will not understand it, it's a really sexist notion that we need a man to complete us and that we cannot be independant and happy alone.

Nothing wrong with that. I felt exactly the same at your age. I really enjoyed myself.

As long as you are happy within yourself, do what makes you happy.

I was single for 4.5yrs loved time to myself.

Enjoy it

Thanks guys, I will :) it's not only the schedule issue, i'm just very introverted and independant and I have been through so much crap with men that I find it hard to trust.
I'm angry at these men for what they did and I'm holding onto that baggage.

I was exactly the same, I loved my life of having a nice tidy home, not having to make plans - I just did what I wanted to do and had really good friends (male and female) so felt well supported.
All of a sudden I did feel like I wanted someone in my life again (at age 31), I set up a dating app account, on day 2 of my registration got chatting to a guy, met him for a date 5 days later and we just clicked. Despite both having not had a great relationship history we got on so well...fast forward to now and we are celebrating the 6 month 'birthday' of our little boy and I can't imagine not having him in my life, even picking up his dirty pants and I want to make plans with him in a way that I didn't think was possible.

Sorry for the sentimental post (celebrating with Prosecco) but I'd say enjoy your life as it is every day, it might change (or it might not) but if it does, go with it.

Absolutely nothing wrong with not being in a relationship. I did it for a long time but then got to the stage of wanting to share my life with someone. Enjoy your life, however you live it.

I am very happily married, really wouldn’t be without dh. But when I look back at the really golden periods of my life, they are often times when I was single.
I could be selfish and find Daily compromise/ minor negotiation a pain, but it is heavenly to do what you want when you want to do it, and not to to have anyone to answer to.

I was you, I know exactly how you feel. If I look back on my entire adult life the most stable and peaceful times were when I was single. I was previously in love with two arseholes. The pair of them did nothing but lie, cheat and bring fuck all other than misery to the table. Bastards.

I have a lovely man in my life now but he's someone I'd already known for a long time.

If I end up single again that will be it, I'll never let another man into my life (I'm mid 30s). I wouldn't need / want it enough to take the risk.

Totally understand. I've had two children by myself and have no interest in a relationship. I love my life just me and my babies, everything is on my terms, uncomplicated and joyful.

Yep, got my own space and love it! No tiptoeing around someone else's moods etc. This suits me right now. Maybe part of it is from my childhood- I saw a marriage where my mother was trapped. My own space gives me a sense of freedom. Call it baggage if you like, but I'm happy with it. :)

Do you feel a need to work on your baggage through therapy or anything? Or do you just see it as having had a useful life lesson in men?

I’m 43 and decided to be single forever around age 28. I have had a couple of flings but I cba with those any more.

It’s a very good life.

“ I could be selfish and find Daily compromise/ minor negotiation a pain, but it is heavenly to do what you want when you want to do it, and not to to have anyone to answer to.”

It is. Compromise is just a word for “no one gets what they want”.

Op, I could have written your post.

I couldn’t find a man who wasn’t totally dishonest so I stopped looking and life is really good. No lies, no eggshells, no disappointments, I have a beautiful ds, a good circle of friends, and I can relax.
I’ve been single for 2 years and haven’t regretted it yet.

Go for it OP. There is nothing wrong with being single, before I met DP I was single for a very long time, and if i'm honest, it was the best time of my life. If I ever found myself single again, I would be in no rush to meet someone else.

I have been single (widowed) for just under 2 years now - my husband moved out December 2017 and died August 2018, just before decree nisi. And I love it. No more walking on eggshells, happy calm house with happy people. Maybe there will be another relationship in my life at some point, but I am not looking for it. Single life is great!

Same ! I've been single for 3 years after a serious long relationship. Had casual dates since but I've been concentrating on myself and my career.

I honestly feel upset when I see everybody has someone but also can't bare the thought of compromising for anyone or being controlled/drama/cheating! I enjoy being single but also wish I had someone.
I've decided to just relax and see where life takes me !

Almost 6 years here now.

I won’t have a relationship again.

I just suit single life better. I have a FWB to deal with the physical aspect.

I can’t see anything to recommend coupledom anymore.

Thanks for the advice, my friend, it helped me a lot)

Thanks for the replies. I really do enjoy my free time and independance, I think I have just been hurt too many times to want to go through it again.
Men tend to find me attractive but never fall in love, and when I see these couples who just 'knew' and were a couple after 5 minutes and crazy in love, I know that will probably never be me.
Glad to hear there are some posters on here who are very happy single !

Go OP!
I'm in a similar situation. Hurt too many times. It doesn't feel like 'baggage' to me. It feels like common sense. I haven't ruled out having a relationship in the future; I just don't really care either way. People seem to waste so much time worrying about it. It's good to see there are others out there who love being single.

Go for it by all means and it really is nobody else's business at all! I've had an amazing year on my own, but just in a new relationship. If it doesn't work out, I know I will be totally fine going back to being on my own.