Can it ever be normal to fantasise about...

[AmazingMace]

...my husband running off with another woman?

...meeting the most perfect lovely woman who would make an ideal second wife for my husband?

...having my own house?

...what my next and final wedding dress might look like and even having a Pinterest board for it?

I’m married with two children. I have a good life. My husband is good looking, solvent and intelligent. Women would probably be lining up to date him. Can it be normal to fantasise about these things?

I felt like this about my STBXH. I used to dream constantly about being single. I used to be grateful when he had to go away for work. OK, he was a controlling, abusive shit but it took me a long time to realise that I was longing to be single for a reason.
My life as a single mum of two is hard but far happier than it was as an unhappy wife.

OP I know exactly what you mean. I’m in the same position so no advice really but I’m seriously thinking about ending it. The only reason I am staying is the dc, it’s so hard to think about breaking up their family. They adore their dad and he is a great dad and husband, I just don’t love him in the way I should. It’s a tough place to be so you have my sympathy.

Sometimes I wish he would be horrible / controlling / anything bad so that I had a ‘good reason’. I feel such a coward for saying that. Also like pp’s I have sometimes thought about ‘if he died I’d be free...’ which is absolutely awful and I’m so ashamed of myself. But I guess it all points to feeling trapped and unhappy.

I've got 3 kids op, 3/5/7
I feel guilty for breaking the family unit but we are still living together for now and he is spending much more quality time with them so they are happy.
This is not a long term solution but it is working ok for now.

I've not had any doubts about my choice. I know in my heart I can't be with him any longer.
I didn't want to be the bad guy either but sometimes in life you just have to make that choice and go with it.

I fantasise about living on my own but adore my husband - even if I find living with him quite annoying at times.

It doesn’t sounds like you want to live with your husband any more. You don’t have to stay.

Be careful what you wish for.

I felt like this for years and finally ended it myself. I’ve had counselling since and realised that me pushing him away was a pattern of behaviour from before. I think if I’d appreciated that sooner, we might have rescued the marriage. Perhaps. But maybe it’s worth looking at counselling for you and, in time, as a couple?