I met a guy 6 years ago whilst I was with my ex, we were colleagues and had feelings for each other but nothing happened- just a drunken confession we liked each other. I wanted to leave my ex for him back then but we had a daughter, so I stayed. Other guy also has never in his life had a relationship (he's 40) and so his big commitment issues put me off. Instead I decided to work on my relationship and I cut this other guy off for a bit and hurt him.
I ended up marrying my ex a few years later and we had 2 more children. When I'd got past the feelings for the other guy we became friends again, just via text. I never forgot about him, I just had to keep pushing him out of my head as more than a friend.
Anyway, skip to 5 years later and I split with the ex last summer. Later in the year I started seeing the other guy as I wanted to explore the old feelings I'd had when we first met. The problem was he would only see me every 2 weeks, sometimes after work just for a meal, sometimes on a Friday for a night out and stay over at his (this only happened twice). We had a lot of fun but this went on for 3 months and I'd only actually been on 5 dates with him in that time. This started to annoy me so I called it off. He'd said there was a connection, but not as strong as years ago, and he wanted to give it time to see if it would grow. I was not prepared to go on months and months more to then be a fool and rejected by his commitment fear. There was a bit of an on/off but in the end that was my decision.
Anyway, we've tried being friends since though we've only seen each other once since October (in Feb) . He seems keen to be friends, but I can't seem to get over him and seem him neutrally. I know it was all the right choice what I did, but I've never met anyone like him and I don't think I will again. I think about him every bloody day, much to my annoyance. I can't decide whether to go NC to get him out of my head, or stay friends as I do value him and would miss him.
If you got this far and understand what the hell I'm on about then any advice would be welcome. 😂