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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flaky friend

3 replies

Squarinup · 10/11/2019 10:37

Hosted a big dinner and friend told me on the day (around 11am) they couldn’t make it due to illness. They have been working hard and are burnt out but I put so much effort and spent so much money on (!) the dinner and drinks, that I’m really hurt about it. Friend has a big birthday next few days so has promised to be better for then - well no shit Sherlock, you would never miss your own birthday?! I am so pissed off! This isn’t the first time and I feel like it’s regularly my social events that get canned. It was w really good night in the end but they have texted me personally to apologise and I don’t know how honest I should be in my reply - I do have sympathy, and have always historically been sympathetic, but want to say that I found the latest one a bit selfish as it was so incredibly last minute and did they not realise they were coming down with something before / couldn’t be bothered?? Couched in nicer language obviously. Their excuse was a throat infection, which only seems to occur on weekends, as they are fit and healthy during the week.

OP posts:
purplepalace · 10/11/2019 10:48

I would just reply

'Hope you feel better soon x'

I've also got (had) a flaky friend who always cancelled, postponed and was late when seeing me, but seemed to see friends who she was 'getting things' from, such as babysitting help or a friend who dog sits fur her and people buying lots from her (she runs a little business from home). I just began to realise she wasn't that into me, and a bit of a user so I backed off and waited to see if she'd prompt a meet up or drop a text to see how I am, but I haven't heard from her in ages. Her silence siesta volumes.

purplepalace · 10/11/2019 10:49

Posted too soon...

After texting her I'd not invite her again, but wait and see what effort she made.

Squarinup · 10/11/2019 10:53

Thanks. Don’t think my friend is like that in fairness as they still like seeing me but only on their terms...

OP posts:
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