Relationship advice please !!!

[Progia321]

I’ve been with my partner coming up 5 years he’s recently moved into my home.

I do absolutely everything for this man and I mean everything.

Anyway there has been a few things he keeps saying or doing that is genuinely hurting my feelings. I’m going to give an example of something he said today and would really appreciate some advice please.

Several days ago he asked if when I finish on the toilet would I start leaving the seat up for him so he don’t have to touch it after I have been toilet and sit on it. My response well you sit on it to? He replied well I’ll start weeing with the seat down then and if it goes anywhere it is your
Problem.

This morning I noticed he had got pee all over the seat so I politely asked ‘ could you clean that up please before I go toilet” he replied.... “no way I told you the other day so reap the rewards and get cleaning it up yourself’ I took myself away from the situation and went to the bedroom had a minute to myself and started painting my nails he walked in to see what I was doing and I could hear him mocking me for painting my nails and then he told me to go “F##k” myself because I then wouldn’t help him in the kitchen cos he was shouting at me.

Is it just me or is that a really degrading comment? It has upset me I know it is more than likely stupid of me to feel upset but why should I have to do that ?

That’s just one example I’m just looking on what people think to that. We do genuinely have a really good relationship but I feel his mouth runs away with him sometimes.

Yes this isn’t good when you say everything so you mean everything

I didn’t really have much of a tight family growing up.. dad made me be a young house wife in a sense from young and treated me like shit. Guess I became used to it unfortunately. I’m 23 so I guess i can call it a learning curve. Really appreciate all of your advice thank you again

How old is your partner

Is it your house if so are you safe to get him to leabe

This will only get worse. Probably much worse.
Box his things & put them on the front step & text a simple goodbye. Change the locks.

There you go. You were brought up to wait hand and foot on men. It's really hard to see that the person who you thought loved you and had your back is taking advantage of you and treating you badly. I really suggest you look into doing the Freedom Programme or doing it online if there isn't a group in your area. No man who loves you lets you run around after him. It's called common decency and respect. Decent people simply don't treat others like that, no matter what their relationship is. Don't allow anyone to treat you like a servant, ever again. Start putting your foot down.

It might be a good idea to do some counselling to address your past and maybe the freedom programme to reset your boundaries and expectations of relationships. Otherwise you'll keep accepting the shit patterns given you by your dad.

Op, despite your upbringing, you have good instincts. Listen to them.

Yeah, he's a dick and I would make my last thing I do for him packing his bags and leaving them on the doorstep.

This man neither respects or likes you. Those qualities - respect and liking - are fundamental to a healthy relationship. Your expectations are set far too low.

I echo PP. Do the Freedom Programme and get rid of this unpleasant man. He's ramped up the abuse now he feels in charge. Show him that he isn't your master.

He's a cocklodger and training/grooming you to wait on him hand and foot. He hates you and likely hates women in general. He needs to go.

Change the locks while he's out and put his things outside. If he kicks off, do not hesitate to telephone 999. That's what they're there for, to protect you from harm.

Don't let intimidation and fear stop you getting this man out of your house.

Once you've done this once, you'll have the experience and confidence to do it if ever you need to again. You can do it, lady, you've got this.

When you grow up being told you are a second class citizen it is not unusual to enter a relationship wherein you are also viewed as second class. Telling you to clean up his piss is low. You should attend counselling to build up your self esteem and cut him loose. Figure out why you felt it was your job to do everything for him. What does he do for you?

He's taking advantage of everything you do for him and now mugging you right off. What a prick!

Hello OP. This man is a rude misogynistic git. You are young and have the whole world in front of you - tell him to fuck right off - you have better things to do.

He moved into your home? well that's easy you can tell him to fuck off. does he pay towards the bills and food.