Hi all,
I’m in absolute turmoil which is why I am
Posting. I have found myself in a situation of an unplanned pregnancy with no.3. My other 2 DC’s are 12 & 3 and will be 13 & 4 on arrival of this pregnancy if I continue.
I have been so low since finding out I’m pregnant. I had DC1 when I was quite young and felt like I missed out on a lot of opportunities. His father then left me and when he was a toddler and hard times ensued. Not to mention I had PND which I had a suicide attempt. I felt very trapped and it was all an incredibly tough time. My DC no2 was a different experience, with a loving partner and more financially stable, the whole experience was different. Older and more in control, pregnancy friends so not as lonely or isolated. I loved every minute of it. I’ve gradually been getting my life and career back on track and have even launched a business whilst he’s been young whilst building up my freelance potential. I wasn’t planning any more and felt happy and balanced with my lot. I have discovered I’m pregnant and my other half was devastated. He strongly does not want to have this baby and worries how we will cope financially and him emotionally. He says he can’t cope and can’t guarantee how this will Work out. (Ie will
our relationship survive..). He’s hugely concerned about money because of his business and the current economy. He says I’ll need to do the lions share as he’s been adamant he doesn’t want this from the start. I worry how I will cope emotionally as I have been very depressed since I found out I was pregnant. I swing from left to right every 5 mins and it’s driving me Insane. I’m concerned as all of the feelings of being trapped have resurfaced and my anxiety is in over drive. I have tried to have a termination but have freaked out a number of times and the clinic keep sending me home. I am getting further along and starting to show but still feeling like termination is the less risk to my family balance and mental health. I have felt suicidal since I have found out I have been pregnant as both outcomes feels doomed for me. I don’t do It as I wasn’t to be a mum to my 2 DC and would hate to ruin their lives but the thoughts are there. I have hoped for a miscarriage at times so the decision can be taken away. Either way I know I will grieve for the unborn baby but If their is no baby then my 2 DC will not have to
Potentially suffer me with PND or being unable to cope. I’m in such turmoil. I’m completely pro choice but I’m struggling to go through with it but also dreading the thought of having a baby. Any advice please share or similar stories and outcomes. I’m so sorry if anyone reading this is struggling to conceive. I have felt hugely bad for friends I know who are struggling to conceive as it just feels so unfair. Adoption does not feel like an option for me. Thanks for reading and any advice.