Unplanned pregnancy with no.3 - in turmoil

[honeymonster1]

Hi all,

I’m in absolute turmoil which is why I am
Posting. I have found myself in a situation of an unplanned pregnancy with no.3. My other 2 DC’s are 12 & 3 and will be 13 & 4 on arrival of this pregnancy if I continue.

I have been so low since finding out I’m pregnant. I had ally 12 year old when I was quite young and felt like I missed out on a lot of opportunities. His father then left me and when he was a toddler and hard times ensued. Not to mention I had PND which I had a suicide attempt. I felt very trapped and it was all an incredibly tough time. My DC no2 was a different experience, with a loving partner and more financially stable, the whole experience was different. Older and more in control, pregnancy friends do not as lonely or isolated. I Loved every minute of it. I’ve gradually been getting my life and career back on track and have even launched a business whilst he’s been young whilst building up my freelance potential. I wasn’t planning any more and felt happy and balanced with my lot. I have discovered I’m
Pregnant and my other half was devastated. He strongly does not want to have this baby and worries how we will cope financially and him
Emotionally. He says he can’t cope and can’t guarantee how this will
Work out. (Ie will
Our relationship survive..). He’s hugely concerned about money because of his business and the current economy. He says I I’ll need to
Do the lions share as he’s been adamant he doesn’t want this: I worry how I will cope emotionally as I have been very depressed since I found out I was pregnant. I swing from left to
Right every 5 mins and it’s driving me
Insane. I’m concerned as all of the feelings of being trapped have resurfaced and my anxiety is in over drive. I have tried to have a termination but have freaked out a number of times and the clinic keep sending me home. I am getting further along and starting to show but still feeling like termination is the less risk to my family balance and mental health. I have felt suicidal since I have found out I have been pregnant as both outcomes feels doomed. I don’t do
It as I wasn’t to stay for my 2 DC but the thoughts are there. I have hoped for a miscarriage at times as the decision is taken away. Either way I know
I will grieve for the unborn baby but then my 2 DC will not suffer me with PND or being unable to cope. I’m in such turmoil. I’m completely pro choice but I’m
I’m complete turmoil about going through with it but also about having a baby. Any advice please share or similar stories and outcomes. I’m
Sorry if anyone reading this who is struggling to conceive. I have felt hugely bad for friends I know who are struggling to conceive as it just feels so unfair. Adoption does not feel like an option for me.

Hello op.
So sorry you’re in this situation, it must be so hard for you at the moment.

Purely on what you’ve said in your post, I personally would terminate.
But as always, in decisions as important like this, you have to trust your own thoughts & instincts. No one can predict how you’ll cope with a new baby ( or how you’ll feel if you terminate)
All the best x

In your situation I would also terminate.
Don’t think of it as a baby because that makes it a hard decision to make, at this stage it’s barely more than a collection of cells.
You need to put your DCs and your own mental health first.

I definitely think you should go and speak to someone about counselling and your options ASAP, regardless of the option you choose I definitely think you need some counselling about the situation to prevent you slipping further into depression.

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant when DS1 was really tiny and felt exactly the same as you. In the end I terminated and I haven’t regretted it a single day since. I just know it wasn’t the right thing for my family to bring another life into the mix. Whatever you decide be kind with yourself. Take care xx

What an awful situation to find yourself in, i'm so sorry. It's a tricky one but I think probably a termination is the best option and sooner rather than later, the longer it goes on the harder it will be. I think you need to put you two children, your husband and yourself first. It will no doubt be incredibly difficult but probably the best option for all of you in the long run. Good luck whatever you decide xxxx

I’m sorry you are in such a difficult place. You already have two children and they need their mum - if you think of the potential impact your mental health may have on them then I personally wouldn’t add to the family. It’s very easy for me to type that thought - I appreciate the reality doesn’t feel good either way. Also your husband has been really honest and that shouldn’t be ignored - thinking of you xxx