This month it’s been a year since I spoke to the narcissistic, control freak, abusive toxic ex who I was completely and utterly in love with for far far too long.
I tried time and time again to break free - while really deep down just hoping the ‘shock’ would change him. I was totally dependent on him for all happiness but all he really caused me with sadness to the point of self harm and suicidal thoughts.
I posted on the NC threads in here a few times but kept breaking the NC. I’d be amazed at the people who had managed 2/3 weeks and here was me unable to do a couple of days.
Well I did it. For a whole year. And not to shock him into change this time but because I actually just wanted to be done with feeling so crap all of the time and constantly waiting for the few glimpses of affection he would give me after lots of false promises. I won’t lie I still think about him an awful lot but not with the same pain in my stomach I used to.
It’s hard to convey how addicted I was to this man but I just wanted to post in case this helps someone who is a possibly struggling with a bad relationship but feels they can’t live without them. You absolutely can!!!