I just want to ask am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend (29 years old) who I live with sometimes gets so angry towards something. He is usually laid back and relaxed and so when he gets angry I feel so frightened. I get shaky all over my body. It doesn't happen often. To be fair, it has happened like 3-4 times during the time we have lived together (one year. though the anger things have happened more like during 6-8 months I guess). I never saw such great anger from him prior to living together (1 year). He gets angry more often on smaller scale, like annoyed by things around him and then swears or criticises - these are rather minor reactions, although still annoying for me. But I can manage those. But I get so frightened when he suddenly lashes out so loudly, is all angry, speaks so loudly and seems like he would want to turn the entire place upsidedown - I can sense how he is physically keeping himself from doing it. It's never related to or targeted at me. Once he was furious over some work business and then he broke his phone out of anger; then he got so furious over mending a home appliance, now he got so upset over his birthday flower breaking down. It really was a very big, beautiful flower, but it just was too heavy for its pot. I understand it's sad, I have shed a few tears myself over the years when a beautiful flower has broken, but it's light sadness, not furios anger.
Before I always comforted him when he got angry, today I just snapped and got angry myself. He then felt really bad and got furious over my reaction. I have explained to him how it frightens me the previous times. I apologized for my reaction and explained that I just do not understand the anger. I understand sadness (and I know he can show sadness like I would understand sadness), but I find it difficult to understand the anger and it really is scary. He then said "alright, here we go again..." and walked away - I was surprised over this. I though he would understand me, because he has before when I have explained my fear. A few minutes later he came to apologise and say "I'm sorry for my reaction. But I would never hurt you. Not physically at least, I see that mentally it yes hurts you. But I will never ever hurt you when I am angry". But it makes me feel so uneasy..
Perhaps it's normal to sometimes lash out? What can I do in those situations? Go away? I get angry sometimes too, of course, but I deal with inside myself, or going somewhere to calm down. I never yell at home. And to be honest, I do not think I could ever get so madly angry over anything. This is why his behaviour is so strange for me. Should I just take it as he is just different and it's all good?