dont know if anyone can help me.
i been married for 15yrs with a wonderful 11 year old son. first 5 yrs was good but still used to fight a lot as his side of the family was always important and never my side, husband was arrogant and always thought that he was right and moody. He never let me visit folks as much as i wanted to even when my mother wasnt well. He wld always say all will be fine and shower me with gifts. Went bankrupt after 5 years and had to move back to uk ( i am from dubai) this hit him hard. my son was only a year old or so, while he was paying back debts i started working. he was always self employed cos of the nature of his job. I stuck by him through thick and thin encouraged him everyway possible that we 3 can build life again. but he just drowned his stress which landed him in bed for 3 months due to ptsd and anxiety. just to add till date i dont know about my husband's money, savings where and what. He has hid a lot from me and i dont trust him where money is concerned. he even lied about my passport that when he never gave it to do for which he said he needed the money which he took from me. 15 years i have paid and done a lot for my husband, but he took me for granted and started drinking and talking negative. since the last 4 years i have drifted and did my own stuff with my child and taking holidays back to india and dubai, which didnt go down well. he even disrespted my folks when they came down drank and fought. in that course of time his best friend was very supportive of me and we started talking a lot and saw i was being treated and been mentally and emotionally absused for the last 10 years, my husband found out and didnt take it well. i gave up on my husband i got fed up and asked for divorce recently, bcos he taken me for granted and never thought i wld want to leave, its hit him and hard and now he is trying to change and get counselling, which i asked to do 5 years back. he begged me to stay and give it a go, i said ok only 2 to 3 months but i know deep within i cant stay anymore as its too late. i feel i have wasted many years of my life fixing this marriage that i dont know who i am anymore. i just want to break free and feel strongly that i be happy without him. I care for him and love him as a friend but i am not in love with him. I dont want to feel guilty and stay in this for my son, i was doing it for many years. any good advise ... please help ...upset and confused