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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me cope with ex h erratic behaviour!

3 replies

kimbers7390 · 08/11/2019 00:27

Wrote a previous thread about ex and his mind games.

Two weeks ago he asked me to go on a date with him to discuss trying to fix things. He had apparently realised he had too me for granted, missed me and the kids, still loved me and wanted the family back. I stupidly slept with him that night. The next day I find out from dd he is messaging another woman, she had seen texts on his phone. Like an idiot, I messaged the other woman and she admitted they had slept together, he hadn't told her he was married and that he no longer had feelings with me. She assured me she wanted nothing more to do with him. Fast forward to now, she has told him to be with her he has to divorce me, sign child contact arrangement forms so we have no contact other than passing the kids over and to have no emotional contact. He has told me he has filed for divorce.

I've been trying to put on a brave face for our three kids, despite feeling like my whole world is falling apart. His current contact is thursday evenings after school for a few hours and sunday 9am-6pm. I have plans to meet a friend on sunday as it is my only break at minute. He dropped the children off tonight at 7, rushed off to watch the football, then text me a few hours ago saying he will have to cancel having the children sunday as he is taking his new girlfriend away for the night. I am dreading telling the children that their dad isn't coming on sunday to pick them up, they miss him. He told them 2 weeks ago he was going to try and fix things with me so already had a blow.

Does anyone have any tips on coping with his behaviour? I honestly feel lost with it. Hes admitted he is depressed but isn't willing to get help and I am at a loss of what to do. I told myself this week to ignore him and just keep contact to the kids and passing over on handovers but now I am having to cancel plans on my only day to myself, having disappoint the children plus the nice knowledge he is at a nice hotel with this other woman.

OP posts:
kimbers7390 · 08/11/2019 00:42

was meant to add the contacts been a problem for a few weeks. he has failed turn up before because he has been hungover and he has started picking them up later and dropping them off earlier. yet he threatens me weekly to take me court for more time if something happens he does not agree with... xx

OP posts:
RLEOM · 08/11/2019 01:27

Oh, gosh! You poor thing. 😔 What a twunt for putting you and you children through that!

Does he have anything like depression? Mid-life crisis? Or is he just a heartless asshole?

hellsbellsmelons · 08/11/2019 10:01

He's not depressed - he's a fucking asshole!!!
I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.
To cancel on the kids in favour of OW just about sums him up really, doesn't it?
She has extremely low standards herself.
He's cheated on her, with you. He abandons his kids. He lets his kids down.
I'm really not sure what you can do.
For Sunday though, would your friend come to you?
I know I would.
Get a couple of pizza's in and have a good catch up and a glass of wine.
If it's a good friend she/he will understand and be there for you.
I know I certainly would for my friend.
We change plans all the time to accommodate life, it gets in the way!

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