Heartbroken again

[PorpentinaScamander]

I'm just so sad.

Having been a single parent for 7 years I finally met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We were so happy.

Then in March he ended it. Completely out of the blue. Said he was finding it hard with the DC. Fair enough. 6 weeks later we got back together.

Then last week he suddenly went silent on me. Had a couple of messages saying he needed some time. Fine. I know he has been low recently. Tonight he finally admitted it is over. Apparently he "cant stand" my children.

They aren't bad kids, I know I'm biased but they are generally lovely. I mean at 15 and 13 they have all the usual teenage boy stuff but they are, I think, fairly typical.

I know it's for the best that he ended it. But damn it hurts.

He didn't have to tell you he "can't stand" your kids. He knows very well that's hurtful. & you're better off without a man who hates your kids anyway.
. What can you do but take a deep breath, go through the hurt and pain and k OW in time, you will feel better

(Or do what a couple of women I know of did.. Go for targeted hypnotherapy to get them over their grief at end of relationship. May sound strange but it really helped them, 'took the edge off it" apparently)

He sounds horrible. Be angry, and rightfully so xxx

Thank you both.
We are definitely better off without him. I know that. And he certainly could have been a bit kinder about it.
I'm so angry. And so hurt. And so sad. So so sad.
I know we will all be ok though. In time

Absolutely no need for that comment. A simple “it’s not working for me” would have been sufficient. Live is full of ups and downs and I’m sure there will be more ups on the way for you.

It sounds like he's using your children as an excuse for his flakey behaviour tbh. If someone told me they 'couldn't stand' my children I think that would pretty much cancel out any feelings I had for them tbh.

Ugh
Are you sad? Because I'd be fucking spitting feathers. What a prick.

You are lucky.he did it before years passed and more damage was caused to your lovely children and you. The other messages on here are absolutely correct. So don’t think you are unlucky it’s given someone nice out there the chance to find his new family.all the very best to the family.

He sounds incredibly rude to say he ‘can’t stand’ your children. It must hurt right now but with a little time you’ll realise you’re better off without him.

Oh I am angry dont doubt that for one minute! And I'm hurt. Parent bias and all that but how can someone actually dislike my children that much. (Maybe they are actually horrible and I dont realise )

I'm sad because I thought we were forever. We had plans and dreams and hopes. But it wasn't meant to be.
I'll grieve and then I'll recover. I know that.

Children do pick up on a persons character. Perhaps they saw something you didnt?. You and the children should go out celebrate a near miss. Hugs

What a terrible thing to say! Really unnecessary to say anything like that. Does he have DC?

You mentioned the first time he ended it, he said he was having a hard time with DC. Was he talking about his or yours?

He’s using your kids as an excuse he’s not into the relationship and don’t waste time pining over someone who says hurtful things about your children.

He doesn't have children no. Hes only 12 years older than my eldest so I think we underestimated how hard it would be 'inheriting' some teenagers.
They used to get on really well and we had some really lovely family days out. But I guess he was forcing it all along.

Thats an awful thing to say. You are well rid of him OP. I know it must feel hard right now but I think you've had a lucky escape. His attitude is terrible and also did not even have the decency to talk to you about it properly and just went quiet instead

It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to end things but he shouldn't have been so hurtful. It's my experience that men sometimes comes up with an excuse rather than just being honest and saying things aren't working for them.

He's obviously not for you. Look after yourself - eat well, exercise, get out with your friends, treat yourself to something. It's hard now but in time you will wonder what you saw in him.

Not a nice guy, someone who has no understanding of a mother - fuck the fuck him off.

he certainly could have been a bit kinder about it.

You seriously dodged a bullet with this treasure, he could have been kinder... He chose not to be because he is twat.... Don't be sad.... be relieved that you are no longer wasting your time! Go find someone worthy of you and your boys

I don't think it was an excuse. He's very honest and has no filter or tact! (Even his Mum said that).

I just feel numb today. And yet... like a weight has lifted in someway. Probably knowing I won't have him moaning about the DC for no reason! I still miss him though.

Emotions are weird.

I agree with other posters. For 7 years your kids werent a problem for him.

@NotaWagon I was single for 7 years before I met him. Not with him for 7.

It’s sad but he did try for a fair time period and obviously felt he couldn’t live with someone else’s kids

You're totally right. He tried his hardest. He has a tricky relationship with his own Dad and his step-dad and I think that affects it.

I don't blame him for leaving. Not really. But I'm sad.

Sorry @PorpentinaScamander c

@NotaWagon no need to apologise lovely

Perhaps he didn’t want to be a stepdad to teens at age 27, as opposed to not being able to stand them. Anyway, you’re well shot of him OP.