Self validation

[onemoresmartie]

So I just wanted to post because I'm feeling a bit low this morning, I talk to guys I go on dates and I think I'm good company, fairly attractive but even if I don't think the guy is attractive I want him to find me attractive so much so that my anxiety goes through the roof after a date to know whether he liked me or not even if I didn't really like him

Does this make sense to anyone? I think I'm looking for self validation from men and I don't know how to stop this or why I feel like this.

The guy from last night was great company we got on really well and had a good time so I sent him a message saying thanks for a great night and he just replied 'no thank you'

But it leaves me wondering did he like me? I don't get it at all

🤯

He probably meant no, thank you! As in thanks to you he also had a great time.

Blimey - that reply is really open to interpretation!
no thank you, could be, hell no thanks, don't want to see you again.
Or it could be a - oh no my lovely, thank YOU for a lovely evening!
But men cannot validate you. Only YOU can do that.
You need to be happy in you and with you before someone else will be.
So do some work on you.
Especially if OLD. You need a thick skin.

If you don't find someone attractive they can normally pick up on that, in the same way that you can tell when a partner just isn't in the mood for something. It would be unkind to keep stringing along someone you don't fancy, so when that happens one if you needs to say no.

I'd suggest you build a wider circle of friends so that you aren't pinning everything on finding a relationship. IME it's a better way to meet people than OLD.

I just find it so hard to know whether they are shy and are waiting for me to come out and say shall we go on another date or whether to just leave it
I hate the uncertainty of it all, am I wrong to think if a guy likes you they should make it obvious and not leave you guessing

He means you deserve the thanks because he had a great time

Maybe get some counselling to work through your self esteem issues?

@Windmillwhirl that's what I'm hoping he meant..but I guess I will never know

You will know what he meant as presumably he will ask to see you again?

If he means, No, thank You that is.

Reply because then it's like 'wow that's awkward... by then' if he meant it negatively or that his response made you smile if he meant it positively. Then it's up to him to make the next move.