Husband doesn't listen

[Mamabear1988]

Good morning
Do you find that your husband doesn't listen?

For example I'll tell him what the plan is (which of course I've decided because he doesn't bother to input) then 10 minutes later he claims to have no idea about it....then blames me for being difficult! Says things like why is it so diffucult for you to just tell me instead of moan. And I say well I did tell you so forgive me for getting frustrated that you are asking AGAIN!!

This isn't just with daily things, its personal things too. I'll want to talk and he'll just pick up his phone and start looking at that when I'm talking or just make sounds like mmmm, yeah or whatever that I can tell he isn't listening. This morning I challenged him as to why he thinks that's ok and he shouted at me that in being ridiculous then has left like nothing happened. Except I'm really upset. Maybe I talk alot but I am lonely. I have nobody. Family dont bother with us, I dont have a best friend and I work for myself, by myself. I know he's stressed out with work so I've made extra effort to call and ask about his day etc. It almost sounds ridiculous to me that I can feel lonely in a marriage. Or is this just what men are like?? :-(

No, all men are not like that.

He is an ass. Sorry

I really think you need to prioritise making friends and socialising with other people. Sounds like he is taking you for granted.

It depends.
It's not healthy that you depend on him for your adult interactions.
You should try and make friends, join an activity or something.
Also not sure that calling to check on him is that caring. It can well be a nuisance.

But he should definitely pay attention to plans and interact with you.
Unless you are one of those people who talk so much that he loses sense of what you're saying. My MIL was like that and most people in her family just stopped listening because she'd talk non stop.

Agree with Jennifer - please start to prioritise yourself now.
Get out there.
Join a club. Do a hobby you enjoy. Start making friends.
He basically has no respect for you. He has no respect for what you have to say.
Do you have DC together?
How old are you?
Because being lonely in a marriage is not normal.
And no, not all men are like this.
I was with a Narc for 6 years and even he listened to me!

The problem is that his work is all over the country, and he has to be available 14 hours a day by phone. So I often call him as he is in between things or whatever. I don't see how calling him is not being caring? I would likely be asleep by the time he gets home so wouldn't have spoken to him all day. Plus he calls me too so I don't think he sees it as a nuisance.
I find it hard to get out as he is not here to look after the kids very often or we don't have money to do the expensive things that friends seem to want to do. I joined the gym recently to try and get fit but I hardly ever go because he is not here and family live close by but don't help. I do feel stuck, I've been inviting my kids friends over alot to encourage their friendships and hopefully mine with the other parents but it's hard. Everyone seems to already have their circle of friends and it's all 1 sided, me texting them. I'm not really sure what I can do. I don't talk that much!!! I actually do more listening than talking!! Lol

You need to stop relying on him to listen to you. He sounds like a bit of an ass.
Stop trying to make plans with him. Even try texting the plans to him so he can't bullshit and say you never told him ! if he looks at his phone more than he listens to you then try that until he gets the message.

Also you need to . start putting yourself first! If you are lonely join a local club, start a group hobby and maybe try reconnect with old friends!!! If you work at home then get out the house and work at a coffee shop, pub or library.

I'm just at a point where I feel like a complete loser and loner, and not even my husband cares. Like nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone. We do get on well, theres just a few issues like this that to me seem big but he says I'm over reacting. It's actually pretty horrible to feel like you have no one.

I don't think you're overreacting.
He's hardly at home and when he does he ignores you.
How do you say you get along well?
He needs a reality check that his marriage can't last long if that's how he treats his supposed partner in life.