Feeling lost in relationship

[sydslife]

I'm feeling abit lost at the moment in my relationship and would really appreciate some advice or opinions on my situation as I really don't know what to do!

So I'm 21 and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years so I've basically spent all of my teenage years with him. For a few months I have been having doubts about our relationship and I really don't know why, we've always got along really well and rarely argue so there are no visible problems in our relationship. However I often find myself thinking "what if I'm with the wrong person because I've never been with anyone else so I don't know any different" but on the other hand I can't imagine myself not being with him as I do really love him.

He adores me and wants to be with me forever which makes it even harder as I know he hasn't had any of the doubts that I've had, I can't imagine him not being in my life but I do feel like we are very different. I'm studying to become an accountant, he got a full time job straight from school. I like to go out drinking with my friends on the weekend, he likes to stay in and smoke weed. We don't have a great deal in common.

I don't really know what I'm looking for but would love to hear from anyone who's been through a similar situation and how it worked out? I would hate to start a family and move in with him if I'm gonna feel like I've made a mistake, but then I would hate to break up with him and then regret it years down the line. Why is this so difficult

i was once in a similar position to you when I was around the same age. I met w guy who was fantastic, made me laugh we had a great time together but I use to think but what if I’m meant to be with someone else? He took me to his mums house (which was a big thing for him) who lived in Liverpool and it was great I was happy but not happy enough and I got to the point where I wanted to end it as I wasn’t happy but had no reason to not be happy. It was small things that use to annoy me about him, not really annoy but slight disagreements that never were arguments. I spoke to a friend about this and he told me that it doesn’t need to be one big thing that ends the relationship you can end it because of lots of little things that build up to make you realise and I ended it a few weeks later.

I think my main gripe about him was that he wouldn’t ever say he loved me or had strong feelings for me and we had been together about 2 years but by the time he did fess up and say he loved me it was too late, I had already ended it.

I don’t regret it though because he said that he use to think that we were quite different and didn’t have much in common but we didn’t want to hurt each other’s feelings as we cared for one another.

He might feel the same, you never know.

@Cheekyneighbour thanks for sharing that, it sounds very similar to my situation. For some reason I have it in my head that it would be silly to end a relationship if there isn't a big problem but I know that's a silly way to think.

The problem is I know he doesn't feel the same, he is very open with his feelings and always tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to be with me forever, he is always planning and looking forward to moving in together and starting a family etc. This is why it makes it even harder as I don't think I could ever meet someone who loves me as much as he does.