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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex taking over our lives

3 replies

Flick9670 · 06/11/2019 16:01

Bit of a vent, but does anyone else have issues with an ex literally taking over your life? Me and my partner have a child together and he also has a daughter from a previous relationship, that relationship ended very badly with two years of court after his ex dragged him through hell over custody, even stopping him and his family from seeing his daughter for weeks on end. Since then things have eased with regards to the atmosphere, but what confuses me now is that his ex has become best friends with all his family, to the point that they go on holiday together, book weekends away, see each other every week, she is even invited for xmas day with them! Whereas we never see them as we dont want to spend time with her! They hated her through out the court process, they didnt have a nice word to say about her when she was in a relationship with my partner, yet now they completely alienate me, I am never asked to do anything and neither is my partner anymore, I just feel so down about the whole thing. Plus it impacts me and my partner as we argue about it, I feel he should be saying to his family that it is weird and how they never see us or their grandson/nephew because of it, but he says it doesn't really bother him and it is their loss! Am I in the wrong for feeling like this or does anyone else think it is really odd behaviour from her with regards to the fact she is so obsessed with his family? She also still goes around and stays at her other ex's family home, they didn't have children together and have been split up 2 years, so god knows how his current girlfriend feels about that too!

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 06/11/2019 16:59

as Patsy Cline once sang....

I've got your class ring,
that proved you care,
and it looks the same,
as when you gave it dear.
The only thing different, the only thing new.
I've got these little things, she's got you.

You have what she wants... your DP, his Family is the next best thing .. You and his kids are his family now. Don't let her get to you, she'll move on to someone new soon enough. Flowers

Flick9670 · 06/11/2019 17:46

Honestly she has never shown any want to get him back, it's more that she has taken over his whole family and we have therefore got limited contact with them because of it and seemingly they don't care? Like not seeing their son or grandson doesn't matter? I just don't get it and it's so upsetting and has been going on for 2 years, everything is a secret, we only find out cause DD lets slip x

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 06/11/2019 17:54

She sounds very controlling OP. Sadly his Family are the only ones that can change this situation. Although it's likely they accommodate her for contact with the grandchild, which is understandable but when it's to the determent of a relationship with their other grandchild, then it's weird right enough, particularly with her behaviour in recent years. Flowers

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