What to expect from Al-anon meeting and what did the ‘problem’ person think of you attending ?

[Comps83]

I have a parent who I’m nc with but their abuse when drunk still haunts me and they are still causing problems for myself and other family members indirectly through the only other family member who still has contact with them
DH also issues with alcohol and it causes no end of arguments
I’m feeling quite down about it all and I’ve seen al-anon mentioned on here a few times.
Just checked their website and there is a weekly meeting just a few mins from me so I’m wondering what to expect if I attend, and what other people thought of you attending?
Both parent and DH deny they have a problem but drink to dangerous levels which has put them in dangerous situations on a fairly regular basis and lost them friends and family
I could just tell DH I’m going due to trauma parent has caused but I think he’ll be suspicious that it’s also due to him.

Well one of the first things you will learn is “ you do you” meaning you don’t have to justify why you are going to anybody! And you can’t and shouldn’t do his thinking! Best of luck OP, I think it’s nice to go as it makes you realize you are not alone in this, you can identify with others and it helps you to better understand addiction and it’s associated behaviours.

Thanks
I’m just not sure I can handle it emotionally and will just end up a teary mess the whole time .

It's not a bad thing to have a place you can go and cry. Being affected by someone's alcoholism is a very sad thing.

Best thing about it is learning not to be affected as much. You should definitely give it a go.

You might have tears and that is ok! Ppl there are very supportive and also you don’t have to speak at all!! You can sit and listen for weeks before you “share”. No pressure at all.

I went, and I cried. I was just so emotional about it all. It was just the release in admitting I had a "problem person" in my life and my life wasn't what I had imagined for myself. I would take tissues!

No-one was judgemental. It was a lovely supportive group. I didn't tell the "problem person" I went and still never have.

My local one was in a church hall / community venue. I just went along at the publicised time. There were two other "new" people. The "group leader" introduced herself then people shared their stories. Everyone respects your privacy - and you are expected to respect theirs - but there was an opportunity to swap phone numbers with other group members if your wanted to. I can't remember if there was tea/biscuits. Someone else might know for sure and/or if you need to make a donation for these.

I told a friend in RL about my "problem person's" alcoholism. She was not surprised as she'd seen it too. I told her I went to Al-Anon but that's the only person I've told and she was 100% supportive.

If I was to go again, I wouldn't tell my "PP". I would make up a story that I'd signed up for evening classes or a self-awareness class or something - half the truth anyway! Or maybe for your first session say that you are just out Christmas shopping!

Keep going and keep going back.

It is the most incredible gift and it changes your life. Free therapy, a spiritual blueprint to living a good life and finding peace and serenity.