Hmmm - I'll reiterate what some of the other comments have said - love grows over time.
For me, I'd been spending time with someone I got on really well with for two years, and we'd been sleeping together for a while. Kind, generous, lovely, good fun, similar interests, could spend hours together just laughing. He was clearly romantically interested, but I wasn't, and when he asked "are we together?", I'd said no. Later, I said he should start seeing other people. Aaaand, what do you know, a few months later an old university friend of his (pretty, good job) and he kissed at a party and she asked him out on a date. He told me a few days before the date and then it just clicked for me - I wanted to be with him. Sounds very convenient, I know, but it had just clicked: I had been a total bloody idiot and essentially thrown away a very good thing.
Told him how I felt and begged him not to go on the date and he refused. Completely fair - I saw it from his perspective. On the day of the date he broke it off with her, but told me "this doesn't mean we're in a relationship" - he didn't believe I truly felt the way I said I did.
Anyway, after several months of heartbreak and still feeling the same way, one night we were out for dinner and he said "okay, let's give it a go". I was utterly jubilant. Now, some time later, we're living together, incredibly happy and I love him to bits.
I too had this notion of needing to be in an all-encompassing love from the offset. But ultimately in the end I got to know someone well first and then fall in love. And it feels like because of that, it will last. I'm not saying you should settle for something you're not happy with, but you should give some of these blokes a chance - they might be great once you scratch the surface.