DH caught cheating a 2nd time. Have thown his sorry arse out.....but what now?

[Fleek123]

Evening all. I will try to make this short....but really need your guidance.

4 years ago, I caught my husband of 15 years cheating with a work colleague. We separated for a week or so, decided to give the relationship another go. Fast forward 4 years and I've caught him again! This time it's over. I found out last weekend and he moved out yesterday. He has agreed to pay half the mortgage and bills for the next 2 years when our fixed rate mortgage comes to an end and then we split the equity 70/30 (70 to me and the kids) My question is do I need to see a solicitor and get him to put this in writing ASAP? And do we go together to sort this out? Thank you xx

Yup. Unreasonable behaviour petition - entering into a relationship inconsistent with the marriage. He doesn’t need to agree.

Sorry this has happened to you.
Someone once said to me that guilt has a very short shelf life (and judging by my ex, it’s true). Get thee to a lawyer, find out your rights and, divorce or not, protect yourself and your children with an agreement now.

Your lawyer will advise you as to what kind of settlement you should expect . ALL assets are to be considered. One of the rules is do NOT sacrifice pension for equity . While you may want to keep your family home do not be persuaded by your H not to touch his pension. All your assets will be lined up side by side and the aim will be to provide equality plus of course you have your children to consider . Try to get a copy of this : The Wealthy Divorcee: A Step-By-Step Guide To Navigating The Finances During And After Divorce . It's the best money I ever spent.

You will need to go armed with info.
Do you work?
Do you both earn equal(ish) amounts?
Do you both have decent pensions?
Do you have savings accounts?
ISA's
Assets, i.e. car, property, household items, etc....
Take along what you can.
Mortgage documents
Accounts and savings documents
Proof of his wage.
Proof of his pension.
You will need your marriage certificate for divorce
You don't need to divorce on adultery grounds - unreasonable behaviour will be enough.

I'm so sorry this has happened again OP.
I hope you have reached out to family and friends to get some RL support for yourself and your DC.

And who gives a shit if he gets upset again.!!???
What about you and how upset you are?
Stop thinking about him and his feelings.
He has no regard at all for yours or your DCs.
So he can get to fuck!

Get it in writing RIGHT NOW whilst he is still feeling guilty.

See a solicitor (family law) like, yesterday. Get that agreement in a legal letter - as well as maintenance, pension, childrens education and all the rest of it.

As others have said say nothing to him for now but get straight down to a solicitor .

People can change a lot after a break up, especially after two years. He may have the best of intentions now, but in two years he could potentially have a new partner and more children. Definitely put it in writing while you’re still his priority

Thank you all for your guidance and kind words. I will gather all the evidence above, thank you and take that to the solicitors. Will they take into account potential earnings as he will be earning double my wage with the year?

Don't do the above !! Theresa45 - reported.